I read this quote in one of those mass e-mails sent by a family member. I've read it before, but the truth of it strikes me poignantly, and I wish I'd been told this adage repeatedly as a child.
However, a couple of issues arise as we address the 'flaws' of this theory:
One, we may end up becoming complacent and settling.
Two, we can sometimes vex others by seeming to brag or otherwise show lack of sensitivity.
Perhaps these are helpful to keep in mind as we struggle to present our best face to this world.
I will readily admit that my own attitude towards and perspective on the world are less than optimal. I truly believe that whiners (i.e., my natural self) will be crushed by the generally dismal lack of sympathy and sensitivity (wonder where I got that idea?) So, keep that chin up! Of course, internalizing the quote above works well to help prevent the whininess from occurring in the first place!
None of us have everything we want. And, even if it did, would it really make us happy? Of course, to a certain extent—yes! At least, for a while. But, once we’d obtained our goals and hopes and dreams, we’d still have things to worry about and be upset over.
What I aspire to do, then, is to see the good in the present. To see what’s beautiful about NOW. And, you know, my life is pretty damn good!
Perhaps the future holds lovely gifts…published, successful novels; grandchildren; ooh, maybe a housekeeper (please oh please!). Maybe I’ll have a fat bank account and a new car and adoring fans…
But I also see the inevitable bodily aging, my adorable children growing up, the death of older family members, possible economic and environmental disasters…
Not to be a pessimist, but, no matter how sunny our futures might be, they also hold pain and strife. That said, those who currently have ‘sunny’ lives or present ‘sunny’ lives also have their own difficulties.
So, regardless of who has more to be thankful for, we will all feel best if we identify and celebrate the wonderful parts of our lives—the natural beauty around us, our accomplishments, the accomplishments of our loved ones… Whether we enjoy the cake we just baked or the counter we just cleaned (that just being a theoretical thought!) or the book we’ve written or the car repair that hubby (or a mechanic) has so wonderfully performed…or even the laugh we’ve shared or the association we’ve made or whatever…by appreciating these things, we will feel happier and more content in the moment, and that’s all that’s truly real, isn’t it?
You know, this is generally a good rule to live by much of the time, but I recognize that there are and will be excruciatingly low moments for all of us. I fall into these myself all too often, even as I realize that what I’ve experienced may not begin to touch the reality that others have endured. When I’m down, it can be painful to hear how happy others are and even can feel piercingly agonizing...but we should know that, as insensitive as others may seem in expressing their own happiness, that they are attempting to take pleasure in the good in their lives. They are recognizing the good there and thus maintaining and expanding their happiness. And, when we are up to it again, perhaps we can do so as well. Perhaps not in the same way (I’ll likely never be a supermodel or president or a billionaire), but each in our own way, with our unique preferences and joys, both great and small.
Ironically, given my constant touting of ‘chin up’ ideals, I have been whining an inordinate amount lately. There are those who sweetly, lovingly incline their sympathetic ears to listen to my whines, which I do strive not to broadcast publicly (and I'm delighted, absolutely delighted if you question the veracity of my claims to whininess!). So, after all, I am writing to remind myself to stop the perpetual whining to them, as everyone has their limits, and, also, to say THANK YOU to my wonderful, lovely, caring friends and family. I love you all immensely and feel extremely thankful for your support—a support that is ever perfectly, humanly imperfect.
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