So, my blog is growing more and more scarce in entries these days. In part, it is due to a massive amount of technology-related stressors that have cropped up lately. The less I deal with technology, the more sane my life is. So, the obvious solution is to eschew all technology, right? Yes, that's the answer. How nice.
Except it's not just technology. And, besides, I don't want to have my life dictated by others. And, yes, I do attribute many of my problems to malicious entities--be they targeting me personally or as a member of a group. The reason? Beats me. I have gone up and down and every which way about it, only to determine that the reason seems to be plain old sociopathic love of power. Certainly not love of me--and not simply due to personal differences. Perhaps there's a very loose causation associated, which may be my particular societal position--a kind of 'keep her in her place' antiquated, rigid nastiness, perhaps. Or maybe, as it serves to stir quite angry and rebellious feelings, perhaps it's a 'let's ruin her place' kind of attempt. See? I have no idea what the agenda or purpose of the hacking is, except certainly to affect my life.
How disheartening that I can't even say 'ruin' my life, as I am at a loss as to purpose, as I always make herculean efforts to try to understand others and wonder if they have some idyllic, housewifely destiny in mind for me, sans technology--but that may be an absurd opposite of the truth--maybe they want me to dump the housewifely bit and devote myself solely to my technology? Certainly the object is to make me unhappy in the moment--I can say that with absolute conviction.
And you know the thing with hacking? The uncertainty and distrust that it engenders, as I have multitudinous friends and acquaintances with computer savvy, even computer-based careers--so I begin to wonder about every one of them, which is so far from where I want to be in my relationships--and even my poor, brilliant hubby has suffered immensely in this, as he has always been inscrutable and secretive--so, while I am currently less suspicious of him, the hacking has caused major riffs in my marriage. I have always been a skeptic, and trust is something that is earned slowly with me--even when I adore someone. So, for folks who have not yet established themselves as trustworthy, it's difficult and stressful to feel as comfortable as I did in the past if I think they're remotely likely to be associated with the harassment.
So, hacker, if the point is to make me more housewifely, then stop. You're hurting my marriage.
If the point is to ruin my family life or to simply inflict pain and suffering, then perhaps you should consider again how you spend your time. You're clearly brilliant and have incredible potential. If you applied that sort of energy to a career, then you could glean increasing power that way. If you've been hurt in the past and find relief in taking control and being powerful, then consider what you'd really like in your life--not limited to what you 'think' you can do or have, but what would bring you REAL happiness. As nice as it might feel for just a moment or two to see my reactions, it can only fester when you lose that momentary grip--if you remain attached to the situation. If you redirect yourself in a purposeful way towards a more sustainable goal, then I think you'll find more enduring satisfaction.
Except it's not just technology. And, besides, I don't want to have my life dictated by others. And, yes, I do attribute many of my problems to malicious entities--be they targeting me personally or as a member of a group. The reason? Beats me. I have gone up and down and every which way about it, only to determine that the reason seems to be plain old sociopathic love of power. Certainly not love of me--and not simply due to personal differences. Perhaps there's a very loose causation associated, which may be my particular societal position--a kind of 'keep her in her place' antiquated, rigid nastiness, perhaps. Or maybe, as it serves to stir quite angry and rebellious feelings, perhaps it's a 'let's ruin her place' kind of attempt. See? I have no idea what the agenda or purpose of the hacking is, except certainly to affect my life.
How disheartening that I can't even say 'ruin' my life, as I am at a loss as to purpose, as I always make herculean efforts to try to understand others and wonder if they have some idyllic, housewifely destiny in mind for me, sans technology--but that may be an absurd opposite of the truth--maybe they want me to dump the housewifely bit and devote myself solely to my technology? Certainly the object is to make me unhappy in the moment--I can say that with absolute conviction.
And you know the thing with hacking? The uncertainty and distrust that it engenders, as I have multitudinous friends and acquaintances with computer savvy, even computer-based careers--so I begin to wonder about every one of them, which is so far from where I want to be in my relationships--and even my poor, brilliant hubby has suffered immensely in this, as he has always been inscrutable and secretive--so, while I am currently less suspicious of him, the hacking has caused major riffs in my marriage. I have always been a skeptic, and trust is something that is earned slowly with me--even when I adore someone. So, for folks who have not yet established themselves as trustworthy, it's difficult and stressful to feel as comfortable as I did in the past if I think they're remotely likely to be associated with the harassment.
So, hacker, if the point is to make me more housewifely, then stop. You're hurting my marriage.
If the point is to ruin my family life or to simply inflict pain and suffering, then perhaps you should consider again how you spend your time. You're clearly brilliant and have incredible potential. If you applied that sort of energy to a career, then you could glean increasing power that way. If you've been hurt in the past and find relief in taking control and being powerful, then consider what you'd really like in your life--not limited to what you 'think' you can do or have, but what would bring you REAL happiness. As nice as it might feel for just a moment or two to see my reactions, it can only fester when you lose that momentary grip--if you remain attached to the situation. If you redirect yourself in a purposeful way towards a more sustainable goal, then I think you'll find more enduring satisfaction.
