Last year, when I had nearly completed the introductory Pimsleur Swedish conversational course, I was bubbling with enthusiasm and bought the French Pimsleur course as well.
I have always wanted to take French, which I considered a romantic language (hmm, it technically is a romantic language!), but my mother insisted that Spanish would be more useful to me and therefore I took Spanish courses in high school and then college.
On occasion, though, I have studied a teensy bit of French, and I've found it interesting how similar French and Spanish words are--even sometimes deciphering a smidgeon of French writing with my Spanish background (both Latin roots). I believe though, because French drops the ending of so many words in actual speech, that actually interpreting the French spoken word is much more challenging. I'm not fluent at all in Spanish, though, so I really couldn't say!
Anyhow, after actually finishing the Swedish course and not making it to Sweden (I figured we weren't going to from the beginning, honestly...the course was a hopeful just-in-case measure with linguistic entertainment benefits), and then seeing the language skills fall away immediately, I lost enthusiasm for starting a new course at that time. The bug has struck again, though, and I am now newly immersed in the Pimsleur Conversational French beginner's program.
Thus far, three curious thoughts have struck me while listening. Please forgive my largely phonetic spellings, as this course is purely via CDs and without a manual (good for listening to while getting chores done). Here they are:
1. The word for 'where' sounds like 'oo'...not overly similar to 'where'...BUT 'Where is the street?' sounds like 'Oo eh la rue?' Spoken quickly, 'oo-eh' sounds awfully close to 'where'.
2. Okay, back to the whole stereotype thing. Know how I related certain words to the Viking mentality? As with the Swedish word for 'speak' being interpreted by the strong, silent types as 'pratar' (prattle, in my mind)? Well, the French word for 'speak' is 'parlez' (sounds like parley). In English, parley refers to discussing terms, settling disputes and such. So, the Vikings view speech as a nuisance, 'prattle', whereas the French view speech nearly as a sport--conversation is an artful maneuvering of words, a parley! Love the stereotypes!
3. The French word for yes is 'oui' (pronounced 'we'), but they have a common phrase 'but yes' when they disagree, and the word 'yes' here is like 'si' (pronounced 'see') in Spanish. I find this interesting. Are the fiery Spaniards so contrary that they took up the dissenting yes as their sole form of saying 'yes'? Really curious! Additionally, don't we say in English 'but see...' when we disagree, often? Is it a French vestige? Perhaps the French picked it up from the English, as 'but see' seems more logical than 'but yes' (or maybe I'm just so used to it...)? Could it be related or am I really stretching things?
I love thinking about how languages have evolved. Linguistics are fab!:)
Monday, October 26, 2009
Dutch Art Day and an Opossum
The kids and I went to the Jepson Museum yesterday for a Free Family Day. We viewed the travelling exhibit of Dutch-inspired paintings by Americans and we listened to a lutenist for a while. We also bought things in the gift shop, of course! The kids made a lion and dinosaur last night from their new clay model set, which had the skeletons included for a structural base.
Michael stayed home, abandoned by us, to work on the chicken coop--as colder weather is approaching and we've had an issue with an opossum letting itself into the coop! He built a nesting box for the chickens, which is exciting, though we don't expect eggs for a few months. The coop isn't finished yet, but it's getting there. It is enclosed, though, as it's always been, with wire fencing, but he's putting up walls and such.
I hope the chickens survive the hazards of predators... This business of staying alive is difficult for a chicken. Last week alone, we had two episodes with an opossum and another with a cat prowling and pouncing at the coop. The cat incident was during the day, actually, when I normally let them out of the coop to roam the back yard (which is enclosed with a privacy fence). It's enough to consider keeping them cooped up, but they are so very wonderful running all over the yard, scratching and eating up the nuisance bugs. Besides, I'm convinced that they are some of the prettiest chickens in the whole world, and I love seeing them running around the yard through the kitchen windows. Maybe it's 'parental' bias, as I think that my own children are unbelievably gorgeous, too! I'd miss the chickens if they were stuck in their coop and run.
Anyhow, I should have stayed home to help him, I suppose, but I jump at these educational opportunities, and these travelling museum exhibits are really once-in-a-lifetime events. Speaking of which, I believe there's a Leonardo da Vinci exhibit currently at the High Museum in Atlanta through February... we must go! Some of the pieces are on display in the Unites States for the first time ever. It would be a shame to miss his art when they've brought it so close to us, while I can completely imagine happily travelling to Europe and spending time there to view his work!
Hmm, I do have a personal da Vinci anecdote... When I was 9 years old, my father was stationed in Germany for 3 years. We only took one real vacation in Europe, aside from day trips, and that was to spend a week in Barcelona, Spain. While rummaging around in some small street shops, we found a junk shop which sold paintings in an alley. Being only nine, I became extremely excited when I found the Mona Lisa in an antique frame there. I bought the painting for 350 pesetas (about $3.50) and secretly thought that I may have found the original but long-lost famous painting in the shop and that it might be worth millions! I toted that painting all over the city with me that day, and the print currently hangs in our kitchen, next to my window view of the chickens!
Anyhow, I don't believe the Mona Lisa is in this High Museum exhibit, but I've got that one covered:). The Louvre probably doesn't want to give that one up very often, I'd imagine!
So...I'm feeling terribly guilty about skipping out on working on the coop this weekend, though I know Michael had it covered. He could have used some help, and we had planned to work on the coop this weekend, but I didn't really hear about the exhibit/family day until just a couple of days before and hated to miss a cultural opportunity for the kids (and myself!).
Guess I'll have to make it up to him later! Sometimes there just doesn't seem to be enough time for everything...
Michael stayed home, abandoned by us, to work on the chicken coop--as colder weather is approaching and we've had an issue with an opossum letting itself into the coop! He built a nesting box for the chickens, which is exciting, though we don't expect eggs for a few months. The coop isn't finished yet, but it's getting there. It is enclosed, though, as it's always been, with wire fencing, but he's putting up walls and such.
I hope the chickens survive the hazards of predators... This business of staying alive is difficult for a chicken. Last week alone, we had two episodes with an opossum and another with a cat prowling and pouncing at the coop. The cat incident was during the day, actually, when I normally let them out of the coop to roam the back yard (which is enclosed with a privacy fence). It's enough to consider keeping them cooped up, but they are so very wonderful running all over the yard, scratching and eating up the nuisance bugs. Besides, I'm convinced that they are some of the prettiest chickens in the whole world, and I love seeing them running around the yard through the kitchen windows. Maybe it's 'parental' bias, as I think that my own children are unbelievably gorgeous, too! I'd miss the chickens if they were stuck in their coop and run.
Anyhow, I should have stayed home to help him, I suppose, but I jump at these educational opportunities, and these travelling museum exhibits are really once-in-a-lifetime events. Speaking of which, I believe there's a Leonardo da Vinci exhibit currently at the High Museum in Atlanta through February... we must go! Some of the pieces are on display in the Unites States for the first time ever. It would be a shame to miss his art when they've brought it so close to us, while I can completely imagine happily travelling to Europe and spending time there to view his work!
Hmm, I do have a personal da Vinci anecdote... When I was 9 years old, my father was stationed in Germany for 3 years. We only took one real vacation in Europe, aside from day trips, and that was to spend a week in Barcelona, Spain. While rummaging around in some small street shops, we found a junk shop which sold paintings in an alley. Being only nine, I became extremely excited when I found the Mona Lisa in an antique frame there. I bought the painting for 350 pesetas (about $3.50) and secretly thought that I may have found the original but long-lost famous painting in the shop and that it might be worth millions! I toted that painting all over the city with me that day, and the print currently hangs in our kitchen, next to my window view of the chickens!
Anyhow, I don't believe the Mona Lisa is in this High Museum exhibit, but I've got that one covered:). The Louvre probably doesn't want to give that one up very often, I'd imagine!
So...I'm feeling terribly guilty about skipping out on working on the coop this weekend, though I know Michael had it covered. He could have used some help, and we had planned to work on the coop this weekend, but I didn't really hear about the exhibit/family day until just a couple of days before and hated to miss a cultural opportunity for the kids (and myself!).
Guess I'll have to make it up to him later! Sometimes there just doesn't seem to be enough time for everything...
Monday, October 19, 2009
More tiling...
I am thoroughly tired today, after a busy weekend of remodeling Michael's new treatment room. How satisfactory...to see long-lasting fruits of our labors! We painted the room on Saturday, and we laid tile on Sunday.
Unfortunately, at the end of the day on Saturday, after contentedly viewing the new colors on the walls, we laid out some tile just to get a sense of what it would look like, and I was appalled at the rosy color of the tiles in my cool blue-green-grey room. No, no, no!
Michael had already hauled all of those heavy tiles from the car to the room, but we went on Sunday to buy NEW white-grey tiles and he then had to haul the others BACK to the car and BACK to the store. His poor BACK! So, we did lay the new tiles out yesterday, and, as I write, the cement is drying beneath them. Grouting is tomorrow! Again, Michael was a sport about being the heavy labor support guy through this process. He cut tile for me, mixed mortar, and even handed me tiles as I laid them. I got all the fun work of actually setting them in place! Despite that, I was exhausted by the end of the day, just as any child would be after playing with mud and rocks for hours and hours!
I did find the process easier this time round. We had fewer questions about how to go about things. We know where to get our eco-friendly paints, we've tiled before and had the tools and tile saw, etc. I found that I had much more patience with painting...perhaps after having the experience of knowing that it WILL be done, even though it seems to take forever.
I still oscillate on knowing how much to invest in aesthetics. Aesthetics alone are worth something, of course, but I also have a strong belief in recycling and reusing, and I love innovation and conservation. So..for example, I'm wrestling right now with buying a new lamp for the corner of the room. We have two perfectly fine lamps that could suffice, but neither is the pewter or silver color I would like... and I'm still rankled over the fact that we bought a nice rug for the room that cost only a quarter of the cost of the gorgeous one that I wanted to get for it. We bought simple, large, and very nice ceramic tile instead of the gorgeous Italian porcelain tile (that cost almost three times as much) that we used on his office... It is all coming together very nicely and will look perfectly satisfactory, I believe. 5-star hotel quality, but not an exquisite piece of art. Oh well...
It is exciting that Michael will have a slightly larger treatment room--with a window! We have great enthusiasm about that window. It even has the deep windowsill characteristic of old homes. Michael and I have talked about those types of windowsills wistfully for at least a decade, and, given our current satisfaction with our house, are fairly unlikely to ever have deep windowsills of our own. So...that windowsill means A LOT to us!:) It's large enough to set supplies on, and the window does open for a much-needed airing out when necessary. Hurrah!
I'll look forward to posting a picture of the treatment room when it is pulled together in a week or so.
Unfortunately, at the end of the day on Saturday, after contentedly viewing the new colors on the walls, we laid out some tile just to get a sense of what it would look like, and I was appalled at the rosy color of the tiles in my cool blue-green-grey room. No, no, no!
Michael had already hauled all of those heavy tiles from the car to the room, but we went on Sunday to buy NEW white-grey tiles and he then had to haul the others BACK to the car and BACK to the store. His poor BACK! So, we did lay the new tiles out yesterday, and, as I write, the cement is drying beneath them. Grouting is tomorrow! Again, Michael was a sport about being the heavy labor support guy through this process. He cut tile for me, mixed mortar, and even handed me tiles as I laid them. I got all the fun work of actually setting them in place! Despite that, I was exhausted by the end of the day, just as any child would be after playing with mud and rocks for hours and hours!
I did find the process easier this time round. We had fewer questions about how to go about things. We know where to get our eco-friendly paints, we've tiled before and had the tools and tile saw, etc. I found that I had much more patience with painting...perhaps after having the experience of knowing that it WILL be done, even though it seems to take forever.
I still oscillate on knowing how much to invest in aesthetics. Aesthetics alone are worth something, of course, but I also have a strong belief in recycling and reusing, and I love innovation and conservation. So..for example, I'm wrestling right now with buying a new lamp for the corner of the room. We have two perfectly fine lamps that could suffice, but neither is the pewter or silver color I would like... and I'm still rankled over the fact that we bought a nice rug for the room that cost only a quarter of the cost of the gorgeous one that I wanted to get for it. We bought simple, large, and very nice ceramic tile instead of the gorgeous Italian porcelain tile (that cost almost three times as much) that we used on his office... It is all coming together very nicely and will look perfectly satisfactory, I believe. 5-star hotel quality, but not an exquisite piece of art. Oh well...
It is exciting that Michael will have a slightly larger treatment room--with a window! We have great enthusiasm about that window. It even has the deep windowsill characteristic of old homes. Michael and I have talked about those types of windowsills wistfully for at least a decade, and, given our current satisfaction with our house, are fairly unlikely to ever have deep windowsills of our own. So...that windowsill means A LOT to us!:) It's large enough to set supplies on, and the window does open for a much-needed airing out when necessary. Hurrah!
I'll look forward to posting a picture of the treatment room when it is pulled together in a week or so.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Encouraging Effort
I read a great article the other day. Sometimes, despite feeling that we've exhausted a subject and are just tweaking the details, we are surprised with information that vastly changes how we approach a particular area of our lives--parenting, in this case. Maybe VASTLY is too strong a word, but it's definitely a paradigm shift!
The point of the article is that studies have shown that praising EFFORT is the way to go with our kids. If we focus on a child's effort, then she takes pride in making great effort and will be less daunted by failure, knowing that she still put forth effort. Encouraging effort leads to the child applying more effort and being willing to face more difficult challenges.
This may sound like common sense, but it is easy to fall into another easy 'common sense' mode of parenting, and I'm afraid that I'm guilty of the latter. Not that there's anything wrong with an occasional word of sheer praise about our child's giftedness, but apparently continual praise of a child's innate abilities and gifts makes them complacent and less willing to apply effort. In fact, they fear any challenging activity, as it may prove that they aren't as smart or athletic or whatever as we believe. They also have a sense that these subjects should feel effortless, if they're so 'good' at them!
The article gave an example of a young boy who was continually praised for being a genius, and rightly so, as he scored in the top 1% of the top 1% on standardized aptitude exams. Surprisingly, he seemed to be completely lacking in ambition and shied away from more difficult subjects. For example, he wouldn't attempt cursive until the third grade and then only with much pressure.
This illustration hit home with me. My oh-so-smart Alex has always been told how brilliant he is. His math abilities were phenomenal when he was tiny...pre-algebra was a piece of cake! When I sent him to Montessori school, I was surprised that he continually did not want to try activities. He refused to do art, and he raved about a manipulative called 'Color Box 1' so much that I visited the classroom to see it, thinking perhaps I'd buy him one for Christmas. I was amazed to find that Color Box 1 was actually just a panel of primary colors, and all he had to do was identify the colors. We're talking red, yellow, and blue. I was rather stunned and quite disappointed. What was the appeal of that? Now I think it was that he could quickly and perfectly finish this activity. No learning was involved, but his feelings of adequacy were not jeopardized by this activity.
So, when I read that article, this really hit home. I haven't praised Alex for his efforts much. In fact, I probably complained that he doesn't try hard enough. I have slathered on the praise about his 'giftedness', though in the past couple of years I have teased him quite a bit that he hit his head too many times and isn't as smart as he used to be! I really haven't loaded on the praise about his giftedness nearly as much, and I even tease him that the school placed him in the wrong special ed class! This is all said in total jest, and he gets it, but perhaps it's taken the pressure off a bit. He does seem to be doing better now and has less fear. I'm glad to have read this article now, as it really sheds light on our past and gives more direction to my parenting efforts in the future.
In contrast to Alex's upbringing, there's always been a tacit implication that Fiona is not necessarily quite as 'gifted' as him, especially mathematically. I have felt terrible about implying this, but I'm pretty sure it's a given in how we've communicated. However, it didn't seem to slow her down, and she's always generally put out a lot of effort and hasn't seemed afraid of failure.
Recently, though, I've been feeling frustrated when dealing with her activities, and I have wondered why she doesn't seem to be trying as much as she used to. I know she has the innate ability, and I keep telling her that. Now, I realize perhaps this was hurting more than helping, as she feels that since she has the 'innate' ability, that it should come naturally and effortlessly. I only read the article within the past week, but both Michael and I have tried to shift to applying praise about the EFFORT put forth by both of them, in order to encourage it. Fiona seems to thrive on that, and tonight she whizzed through her instrument practicing, even playing extra times and declaring that from now on she's going to focus just that much!
For the past couple of days, I have tried to be specific with praise, as in, "I like how you only paused for a moment before practicing that song immediately again. That saves so much time!"
and "I like how you seem to be paying attention to keeping a steady rhythm." I'm still struggling with keeping a distinction between innate abilities and effort, though. It's so easy to slip into, "you're so great at keeping a tempo!", which, I suppose, could make her nervous about trying a song with a difficult rhythm, whereas if I praise how focused she is on TRYING to keep a tempo, she may WANT to try a difficult rhythm to see if she can do it! Complicated, but perhaps important.
Moral of the story...praise effort in lieu of innate ability!
The point of the article is that studies have shown that praising EFFORT is the way to go with our kids. If we focus on a child's effort, then she takes pride in making great effort and will be less daunted by failure, knowing that she still put forth effort. Encouraging effort leads to the child applying more effort and being willing to face more difficult challenges.
This may sound like common sense, but it is easy to fall into another easy 'common sense' mode of parenting, and I'm afraid that I'm guilty of the latter. Not that there's anything wrong with an occasional word of sheer praise about our child's giftedness, but apparently continual praise of a child's innate abilities and gifts makes them complacent and less willing to apply effort. In fact, they fear any challenging activity, as it may prove that they aren't as smart or athletic or whatever as we believe. They also have a sense that these subjects should feel effortless, if they're so 'good' at them!
The article gave an example of a young boy who was continually praised for being a genius, and rightly so, as he scored in the top 1% of the top 1% on standardized aptitude exams. Surprisingly, he seemed to be completely lacking in ambition and shied away from more difficult subjects. For example, he wouldn't attempt cursive until the third grade and then only with much pressure.
This illustration hit home with me. My oh-so-smart Alex has always been told how brilliant he is. His math abilities were phenomenal when he was tiny...pre-algebra was a piece of cake! When I sent him to Montessori school, I was surprised that he continually did not want to try activities. He refused to do art, and he raved about a manipulative called 'Color Box 1' so much that I visited the classroom to see it, thinking perhaps I'd buy him one for Christmas. I was amazed to find that Color Box 1 was actually just a panel of primary colors, and all he had to do was identify the colors. We're talking red, yellow, and blue. I was rather stunned and quite disappointed. What was the appeal of that? Now I think it was that he could quickly and perfectly finish this activity. No learning was involved, but his feelings of adequacy were not jeopardized by this activity.
So, when I read that article, this really hit home. I haven't praised Alex for his efforts much. In fact, I probably complained that he doesn't try hard enough. I have slathered on the praise about his 'giftedness', though in the past couple of years I have teased him quite a bit that he hit his head too many times and isn't as smart as he used to be! I really haven't loaded on the praise about his giftedness nearly as much, and I even tease him that the school placed him in the wrong special ed class! This is all said in total jest, and he gets it, but perhaps it's taken the pressure off a bit. He does seem to be doing better now and has less fear. I'm glad to have read this article now, as it really sheds light on our past and gives more direction to my parenting efforts in the future.
In contrast to Alex's upbringing, there's always been a tacit implication that Fiona is not necessarily quite as 'gifted' as him, especially mathematically. I have felt terrible about implying this, but I'm pretty sure it's a given in how we've communicated. However, it didn't seem to slow her down, and she's always generally put out a lot of effort and hasn't seemed afraid of failure.
Recently, though, I've been feeling frustrated when dealing with her activities, and I have wondered why she doesn't seem to be trying as much as she used to. I know she has the innate ability, and I keep telling her that. Now, I realize perhaps this was hurting more than helping, as she feels that since she has the 'innate' ability, that it should come naturally and effortlessly. I only read the article within the past week, but both Michael and I have tried to shift to applying praise about the EFFORT put forth by both of them, in order to encourage it. Fiona seems to thrive on that, and tonight she whizzed through her instrument practicing, even playing extra times and declaring that from now on she's going to focus just that much!
For the past couple of days, I have tried to be specific with praise, as in, "I like how you only paused for a moment before practicing that song immediately again. That saves so much time!"
and "I like how you seem to be paying attention to keeping a steady rhythm." I'm still struggling with keeping a distinction between innate abilities and effort, though. It's so easy to slip into, "you're so great at keeping a tempo!", which, I suppose, could make her nervous about trying a song with a difficult rhythm, whereas if I praise how focused she is on TRYING to keep a tempo, she may WANT to try a difficult rhythm to see if she can do it! Complicated, but perhaps important.
Moral of the story...praise effort in lieu of innate ability!
Our pets
A Black Australorp--Rachel or Bach?
Good old Lorelai
New rescue rabbit Zoe...with Chloe behind her
2 Black Australorps (Bach & Rachel) and 1 Salmon Faverolle (Giselle)Our chickens were only 6 weeks old in these pics...they're growing up fast!
Alex catches soccer ball
I only used my silent video function on my camera this once during the game, and I actually got Alex catching the ball! Nice momento from his very first soccer game!
Alex's First Soccer Game
These are pics from Alex's first soccer game, in which he was goalie full-time. It was actually the busiest game for him, as the other team was fantastic. The other goalie never had anything to do, but Alex had to catch ball after ball. He did great! A few, however, did get past him, and the other team won the game.
Alex's team has played two more games since, and Alex has been the goalie for half of each game. His team has won these last two games. Woo-hoo!
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Savannah Entertainment and High School
When we lived in Washington, I saw an advertisement for college gymnastics meets at Alex's gymnastics studio (a short-lived activity). Hoping to inspire him, we went to the UW campus and watched the gymnastics, not really expecting so much. Instead, we were blown away! It was like we'd found a secret Cirque de Soleil performing for virtually free and locally, with no crowding. They put on quite a show, with music and smoke and great half-time entertainment. We started attending quite a few of their meets, and I relished our secret find!
Since living in Savannah, we have occasionally attended special plays or ballets downtown, but those are fairly infrequent these days. If we buy tickets for only $25 apiece, then we're still out $100 for the four of us.
I received an informational e-mail passed along through the kids' school, though, about a ballet held at the Savannah Arts Academy. Since Fiona is newly back into ballet, I took her on Thursday, not expecting a lot but thinking we might enjoy it. It was $9 for the two of us.
To my amazement, the dancers were incredible. I've seen the professional Savannah ballet company, and I thought these dancers were much better, though perhaps it was partly due to my low expectation. I was so tickled that I took Michael, Alex, my dad, and my neice and nephew back to see the second showing with Fiona and me again on Friday. I enjoyed that showing, too!
What a marvelous show! During intermission, we were able to peruse a Halloween art show done by the visual artists at the academy. The talent, again, seemed professional.
Anyhow, I feel like I've found our 'secret' Savannah venue for entertainment. The four of us can attend their dances for under $20. This Thursday is a FREE piano concert called 'Fingers of Fury', and I'm very much looking forward to it and hoping that it inspires my burgeoning pianists.
I have been nurturing a hope that we will enroll the kids in Savannah Arts Academy for high school. Though a public school, it's a dedicated magnet for only arts applicants, so the hoodlums and associated violence are virtually non-present, since only motivated students are attending. For this reason, and the high SAT scores and College Prep curriculum, I have inclined towards this high school. The actual arts component wasn't really my prime motivator in selecting the school, though I thought it would be nice.
After seeing this the ballet and art shows, though, I am realizing that these high school students are receiving intensive arts training that is really a serious gig. I imagine the best student artists from all over Chatham county are applying to attend the Academy, and the best dance graduates of SAA probably go on to elite professional ballet companies outside of Savannah. So I may not be off the mark when I think this showing was better than the local professional company!
I don't know, of course, that the kids will want to attend this school. There is a Math and Technology magnet at another high school that Alex has expressed interest in, but it's not a dedicated magnet school, so the thug element is present at the school. Alex is not particularly artsy-minded, but he is developing some piano skill, and I will probably be encouraging SAA for him. Fiona currently wants to be a visual artist, so we're already talking about SAA for her, too! I guess we'll see!
Since living in Savannah, we have occasionally attended special plays or ballets downtown, but those are fairly infrequent these days. If we buy tickets for only $25 apiece, then we're still out $100 for the four of us.
I received an informational e-mail passed along through the kids' school, though, about a ballet held at the Savannah Arts Academy. Since Fiona is newly back into ballet, I took her on Thursday, not expecting a lot but thinking we might enjoy it. It was $9 for the two of us.
To my amazement, the dancers were incredible. I've seen the professional Savannah ballet company, and I thought these dancers were much better, though perhaps it was partly due to my low expectation. I was so tickled that I took Michael, Alex, my dad, and my neice and nephew back to see the second showing with Fiona and me again on Friday. I enjoyed that showing, too!
What a marvelous show! During intermission, we were able to peruse a Halloween art show done by the visual artists at the academy. The talent, again, seemed professional.
Anyhow, I feel like I've found our 'secret' Savannah venue for entertainment. The four of us can attend their dances for under $20. This Thursday is a FREE piano concert called 'Fingers of Fury', and I'm very much looking forward to it and hoping that it inspires my burgeoning pianists.
I have been nurturing a hope that we will enroll the kids in Savannah Arts Academy for high school. Though a public school, it's a dedicated magnet for only arts applicants, so the hoodlums and associated violence are virtually non-present, since only motivated students are attending. For this reason, and the high SAT scores and College Prep curriculum, I have inclined towards this high school. The actual arts component wasn't really my prime motivator in selecting the school, though I thought it would be nice.
After seeing this the ballet and art shows, though, I am realizing that these high school students are receiving intensive arts training that is really a serious gig. I imagine the best student artists from all over Chatham county are applying to attend the Academy, and the best dance graduates of SAA probably go on to elite professional ballet companies outside of Savannah. So I may not be off the mark when I think this showing was better than the local professional company!
I don't know, of course, that the kids will want to attend this school. There is a Math and Technology magnet at another high school that Alex has expressed interest in, but it's not a dedicated magnet school, so the thug element is present at the school. Alex is not particularly artsy-minded, but he is developing some piano skill, and I will probably be encouraging SAA for him. Fiona currently wants to be a visual artist, so we're already talking about SAA for her, too! I guess we'll see!
Monday, October 5, 2009
A Prudish Facebook Victorian
In this age of internet and extreme entertainment, I sometimes feel out of place, as though I belong in a more sheltered era. For example, I have Facebook friends who post lewd messages and pictures, which always set me out of sorts but must make other people simply laugh. I do appreciate an occasional clever remark with innuendo, but crude, crass jokes and pictures really sort of upset me, and I wonder if I'm the only one. Honestly, I never thought I was so 'prudish' until fairly recently.
Yesterday, I went to sit in on orientation for a liberal sex education class for children. I did not bring Alex, as I wanted to gauge the class and see if it was something I wanted for him. If it had been nature-based, as in focusing on physiology and basic science, I may have been open to it. We saw a movie once with a young Native American boy who understood about deer mating, which shocked the white schoolteachers and prompted punishment, but which seem optimal to me. The boy probably also understand about human sex and how it produced children. If this liberal sex education had been about natural sexuality and how it relates to life and our wholesome families, I may have been alright with it.
However, I stayed for about 15 minutes and left, practically in tears. I am mystified at how my 10 year old boy in any way should be prompted to think about cultural sexual norms and deviations and vulgarities (e.g., associated slang speech). This class was designed for 5th and 6th graders to last over 8 sessions! Why does he need to spend that much time on this subject and why delve into vulgarities and deviations at such a young age? The implicit answer seem to be empowerment and development of tolerance, but I dissent.
Alex should be focusing on his studies, on his pets, on his Yu-gi-oh cards, on his sports... They suggested that the children are exposed to blatant sexuality in our media anyway, but Alex leads a rather sheltered life in his Montessori school. We don't have cable, and my children watch pre-approved videos for entertainment. I'm not drastic--they see plenty of violence with Harry Potter movies and Hot Wheels and other fantasy and cartoon pics. Alex reads environmental newsletters and is thus acutely aware of destructive environmental concerns. The stories we read and listen to often have quite a bit of romantic energy, but these usually culminate in a kiss, a confirmed romantic link, and not much more.
Anyway, Alex is somewhat fortunate to be so sheltered, but many other children could be, as well, if their parents attempted to make it so. Why do they have a need to be worldly? Is it really beneficial for them to be so "empowered" with information that they neither need nor should be burdened with? I did sit down and explain the physiology of sex with him one day, when he kept asking about how babies are made (and wanted more information than my prior genetics-based explanations). He listened for a bit and allowed me to finish, and then he asked to go outside and play. He never brought it up again and I'm not even sure that he fully understood my explanation, though he said he did at the time. I simply bring that up to demonstrate that I'm not trying to hide important information from him.
The other day, Fiona saw a 4 year old wearing a denim miniskirt, dangly earrings, makeup, and high heels. She had long blonde hair and was quite the 4-yr-old hotpants. Ms. Hotpants is also a cheerleader and demonstrated some very suggestive moves, prompting one mom to remark, "wow, cheerleading has changed a lot since I was a girl."
Fiona, of course, noticed Ms. Hotpants and wanted to know why I wouldn't let her wear makeup, too, and I actually had trouble coming up with much more of an answer than, "because you're too young."
I never considered myself a 'nun' with regards to sexuality. I had crushes on boys, and I always revelled in subtle flirting and such. I even read romance novels a bit, mostly as a teenager, but I still enjoy the romance in the Twilight stories and such. I have seen nudity to a great degree in my clinical practice, too, and I could almost swear that certain people have made a point of trying to make me more worldly with their lewd jokes and pictures and such, so I don't feel that my attitude is for lack of exposure. I grew up with no restrictions on my television habits, and I did see my fair share of MTV.
Frankly, though, I am overwhelmed at the preponderance and acceptance of blatant sexuality in our media and increasingly so in our casual relationships, such as on Facebook. I'm not referring to flirting, but to simple lewd humor.
I won't even begin on pornography, but you probably can guess my views. I suppose no one thinks of herself as prudish or uptight, and, for goodness sakes, I'm a massage therapist and used to routinely give physical exams as a naturopathic physician! I do not have any hang-ups about the human body, and I have few qualms about addressing and discussing sexual issues. It's simply the lack of respect for the subject itself and for the innocence of children that bothers me...
I took a Facebook quiz last month that placed me in my appropriate era in history, and the quiz set me in the Victorian era, though I don't believe I gave particularly prudish answers. After leaving the sex education orientation in disgust, though, I'm not sure...
I do want to make one unique point in my defense, though. My last blog was about creating pathways of less resistance when we muse and ponder over certain topics. If we 'force' our ten-year-olds to think about sex and define lewd terms for them, then we are creating a pattern that they're more likely to dwell on in the future. Not to say that sex won't naturally be a preoccupation when they become teenagers and young adults, and perhaps that will be an appropriate time to address it, but it seems to me that this will only strengthen that focus and preoccupation with sex before the time comes. Not to imply, again, that there's anything wrong with sex or that we want them to be repressed, but I believe keeping it in perspective and at a respectful, contained level is the healthy way to go.
In reading back through this, it seems as though I'm oscillating from one viewpoint to another, but I think what I'm trying to do is draw the line between healthy, respectful, appropriate knowledge and an excessive, inappropriate, disrespectful, and unnecessary focus on sexuality. I want to preserve the innocence of childhood as much as possible and not push or encourage them into early sexual awareness, while still answering their legitimate questions honestly and fairly, within reason.
Yesterday, I went to sit in on orientation for a liberal sex education class for children. I did not bring Alex, as I wanted to gauge the class and see if it was something I wanted for him. If it had been nature-based, as in focusing on physiology and basic science, I may have been open to it. We saw a movie once with a young Native American boy who understood about deer mating, which shocked the white schoolteachers and prompted punishment, but which seem optimal to me. The boy probably also understand about human sex and how it produced children. If this liberal sex education had been about natural sexuality and how it relates to life and our wholesome families, I may have been alright with it.
However, I stayed for about 15 minutes and left, practically in tears. I am mystified at how my 10 year old boy in any way should be prompted to think about cultural sexual norms and deviations and vulgarities (e.g., associated slang speech). This class was designed for 5th and 6th graders to last over 8 sessions! Why does he need to spend that much time on this subject and why delve into vulgarities and deviations at such a young age? The implicit answer seem to be empowerment and development of tolerance, but I dissent.
Alex should be focusing on his studies, on his pets, on his Yu-gi-oh cards, on his sports... They suggested that the children are exposed to blatant sexuality in our media anyway, but Alex leads a rather sheltered life in his Montessori school. We don't have cable, and my children watch pre-approved videos for entertainment. I'm not drastic--they see plenty of violence with Harry Potter movies and Hot Wheels and other fantasy and cartoon pics. Alex reads environmental newsletters and is thus acutely aware of destructive environmental concerns. The stories we read and listen to often have quite a bit of romantic energy, but these usually culminate in a kiss, a confirmed romantic link, and not much more.
Anyway, Alex is somewhat fortunate to be so sheltered, but many other children could be, as well, if their parents attempted to make it so. Why do they have a need to be worldly? Is it really beneficial for them to be so "empowered" with information that they neither need nor should be burdened with? I did sit down and explain the physiology of sex with him one day, when he kept asking about how babies are made (and wanted more information than my prior genetics-based explanations). He listened for a bit and allowed me to finish, and then he asked to go outside and play. He never brought it up again and I'm not even sure that he fully understood my explanation, though he said he did at the time. I simply bring that up to demonstrate that I'm not trying to hide important information from him.
The other day, Fiona saw a 4 year old wearing a denim miniskirt, dangly earrings, makeup, and high heels. She had long blonde hair and was quite the 4-yr-old hotpants. Ms. Hotpants is also a cheerleader and demonstrated some very suggestive moves, prompting one mom to remark, "wow, cheerleading has changed a lot since I was a girl."
Fiona, of course, noticed Ms. Hotpants and wanted to know why I wouldn't let her wear makeup, too, and I actually had trouble coming up with much more of an answer than, "because you're too young."
I never considered myself a 'nun' with regards to sexuality. I had crushes on boys, and I always revelled in subtle flirting and such. I even read romance novels a bit, mostly as a teenager, but I still enjoy the romance in the Twilight stories and such. I have seen nudity to a great degree in my clinical practice, too, and I could almost swear that certain people have made a point of trying to make me more worldly with their lewd jokes and pictures and such, so I don't feel that my attitude is for lack of exposure. I grew up with no restrictions on my television habits, and I did see my fair share of MTV.
Frankly, though, I am overwhelmed at the preponderance and acceptance of blatant sexuality in our media and increasingly so in our casual relationships, such as on Facebook. I'm not referring to flirting, but to simple lewd humor.
I won't even begin on pornography, but you probably can guess my views. I suppose no one thinks of herself as prudish or uptight, and, for goodness sakes, I'm a massage therapist and used to routinely give physical exams as a naturopathic physician! I do not have any hang-ups about the human body, and I have few qualms about addressing and discussing sexual issues. It's simply the lack of respect for the subject itself and for the innocence of children that bothers me...
I took a Facebook quiz last month that placed me in my appropriate era in history, and the quiz set me in the Victorian era, though I don't believe I gave particularly prudish answers. After leaving the sex education orientation in disgust, though, I'm not sure...
I do want to make one unique point in my defense, though. My last blog was about creating pathways of less resistance when we muse and ponder over certain topics. If we 'force' our ten-year-olds to think about sex and define lewd terms for them, then we are creating a pattern that they're more likely to dwell on in the future. Not to say that sex won't naturally be a preoccupation when they become teenagers and young adults, and perhaps that will be an appropriate time to address it, but it seems to me that this will only strengthen that focus and preoccupation with sex before the time comes. Not to imply, again, that there's anything wrong with sex or that we want them to be repressed, but I believe keeping it in perspective and at a respectful, contained level is the healthy way to go.
In reading back through this, it seems as though I'm oscillating from one viewpoint to another, but I think what I'm trying to do is draw the line between healthy, respectful, appropriate knowledge and an excessive, inappropriate, disrespectful, and unnecessary focus on sexuality. I want to preserve the innocence of childhood as much as possible and not push or encourage them into early sexual awareness, while still answering their legitimate questions honestly and fairly, within reason.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Addiction Patterns & Expression Responses
I've just finished the book Social Intelligence by Daniel Goleman. In this book he emphasizes how we are always creating and strengthening neural pathways. The more often we focus on a particular topic or have a particular feeling, the more that pathway is strengthened, thus we are more likely to have that feeling again or muse on that topic again. Sort of a 'path of least resistance' type of thing! In this way, we can say that our behaviors and thoughts can be addictive.
Oh, and to strenghten this argument from a different perspective, imaging studies show that the same brain centers light up when we see a loved one as do when heroin is used. Makes heroin sound tempting in a way it never did before, actually!:)
Anyhow, we can resolve to change our pathways, but the initial steps are the hardest, as it is like clearing a pathway the first few times--we have to hack through obstacles and underbrush to get through, whereas the well-travelled neural pathway is sooo easy to fall back on... This explains why all of us are prone to committing the same mistakes and behaving in the same patterns. It's not that we can't change, it's just that it is HARD to change. Luckily for us (to varying degrees), we also have some very positive patterns that are easy for us to continue. Perhaps we should focus more on those, since they are already well-travelled as well!
One tip that Goleman gives in molding ourselves to be our ideal personas is to pretend to be those persons. He relates that Edgar Allen Poe would assume the 'mask' of whatever character he was writing about, and after he'd taken on that character's affect, he often then knew what the character would say or do next. I love this idea.
Also, Goleman relates that we have a reflexive mirror response to the expressions we see. This can be employed logically in reverse to help our loved ones to assume the expressions that we would like to see them have. Simply put, if we want to see a smile, we should give a smile. We all know this is true with babies, who will reflexively smile almost immediately when any stranger smiles at them. The same is largely true with adults as well, though they may be a bit more guarded.
Oh, and to strenghten this argument from a different perspective, imaging studies show that the same brain centers light up when we see a loved one as do when heroin is used. Makes heroin sound tempting in a way it never did before, actually!:)
Anyhow, we can resolve to change our pathways, but the initial steps are the hardest, as it is like clearing a pathway the first few times--we have to hack through obstacles and underbrush to get through, whereas the well-travelled neural pathway is sooo easy to fall back on... This explains why all of us are prone to committing the same mistakes and behaving in the same patterns. It's not that we can't change, it's just that it is HARD to change. Luckily for us (to varying degrees), we also have some very positive patterns that are easy for us to continue. Perhaps we should focus more on those, since they are already well-travelled as well!
One tip that Goleman gives in molding ourselves to be our ideal personas is to pretend to be those persons. He relates that Edgar Allen Poe would assume the 'mask' of whatever character he was writing about, and after he'd taken on that character's affect, he often then knew what the character would say or do next. I love this idea.
Also, Goleman relates that we have a reflexive mirror response to the expressions we see. This can be employed logically in reverse to help our loved ones to assume the expressions that we would like to see them have. Simply put, if we want to see a smile, we should give a smile. We all know this is true with babies, who will reflexively smile almost immediately when any stranger smiles at them. The same is largely true with adults as well, though they may be a bit more guarded.
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