My Fellas in the Savannah Bridge Run

Michael and Alex were in the 5K bridge run on December 5th. They had a great time.

Fiona is not quite up to long distance runs, and apparently I can kiss my love of jogging good-bye, too, with this unpadded, cruddy left knee.

Michael has always loved running, and he has a couple of marathons under his belt, but ankle problems keep him from making it a serious, constant venture--as if he had time, though!

Alex ran the St. Patrick's Day 5K run back when he was only four years old, and he has always loved to run distances. I think we have a future cross-country runner in the making!

Winding down...

Just thought I'd write a brief entry. There is so much to do... Recital video clips and picture downloading and catching up. I thought I'd write a holiday letter to family and friends, but oops...
Being thoroughly daunted by all my self-assigned tasks and communications, I realize I may do NONE of the above at all, so I thought I'd just write a brief entry to surmise our current state and say Merry Christmas!
Yesterday was Christmas day, and it did go as smoothly as we could hope. Fiona and Alex hopefully made it through fairly unscathed, though I definitely did see the rotten-ness starting to poke its head through! I absolve myself, though, as I will lay that burden of 'guilt' at certain other family members prone to deluging presents upon loved ones! Not that I am guilt-free, but I did try to keep the presents within reason and within different categories, for the most part! Perhaps the ultimate thing would be to coordinate with everyone else, but that's crazy ridiculous!

Santa did bring Fiona a 'sister' for Olivia, and, despite TWO Barbies from unknowing friends, Fiona did focus on Abigail, Olivia's sweet new Gotz sister. I think I may have stated that Olivia was 'porcelain' last year, which is completely not true. I don't know what they are made of, but I'd say they're much more like the larger American Girl dolls. High quality, fabulous clothes...

There was definitely a bit of a manic feel to the day for Fiona, especially, but I think we made it through alright. Alex had a bit of a shaky start on Christmas Eve, when he received his first present. He received a new Summer Sports Wii game, but apparently not the 'nice' version that he wanted. While Fiona was elated over her new beautiful wooden art kit with built-in easel and drawers, Alex was frustrated with the generic, crappy game! Not only that, but we had 'spaced' on the fact that Alex had bought Fiona a big art kit just a couple of months prior, and, when we were going on about her beautiful new kit, he commented, as though off-hand, "well, I guess Fiona should just set fire to the cheap kit I bought her." Poor guy. I felt like a thoughtless bum for upstaging his sweet, sweet recent present. I roughly salvaged the situation by pointing out that this one wasn't a travel kit, so her other kit would still be great for carrying around. He mildly perked up and said, "well, maybe she shouldn't burn it, then..."

I was fairly worried that Fiona was going to have a lot more presents than Alex under the tree. She has so many interests and is so easy for me to buy for. She likes everything, whereas Alex truly doesn't have as diverse of taste. I don't innately know what to get him, and I don't want to buy half the things I know he'd like! Seems like junk and clutter to me--apologies to Bakugan, Pokemon, and Yu-gi-oh! Fiona's art kits, ballet supplies, dolls, and horse and vet Wii games are much more appealing to me! She likes clothes, too--a lot!--whereas Alex has to exercise his grace & courtesy in not making a smart comment when he wastes his time opening a clothing present. What a disappointment for him! Anyhow, he is much better now with it, and he did truly like the Pokemon and dragon shirts that my mother bought him this year. I'm afraid I don't tend to like the screen-printed stuff all that much...

Anyhow, yes, Christmas is about STUFF and reactions to STUFF at this point in my life. It's also about maneuvering with family visits, which are simultaneously nice and stressful. I am often naturally withdrawn, so it's a challenge to be social and friendly sometimes, even though there's often no reason it should be.

I received a Wii Fit game with balance board, which has actually been the fun family activity of choice! I had tried it last year at my neighbor's, and I was pleased to find that my still 'imbalanced' body is only mildly leaning to the right, as opposed to last year, perhaps three or four months past my knee surgery, when I was solidly rooted over my right leg. Nice to see the improvement!

Guess what my best activity is? I am a master champion at (drum roll, please)...SITTING STILL! Hah! One after another activity scoffed at me as uncoordinated and imbalanced, but I was an absolute master at not budging a muscle! The game is supposed to be a meditation activity--stare at the candle flame and do NOT get distracted by the posted distractions. I personally find my grand achievement hilarious and not quite flattering, but oh well...it does match what I know about me, and why I so often was hit in the head by basketballs in high school gym class--I CAN'T focus on too many things at once! Peripheral attention is absent!

Well, I suppose I'll wrap it up. I will say that Fiona was our brilliant star at her school performance...lovely, beautiful Ona in her pretty ballet outfit and multitude of activities. A school friend commented that she had stolen the show, which she protested with, "but I didn't steal anything!" The highlight was her solo of "The Holly and the Ivy" on recorder, which was the only solo of the show, I believe. We were SO proud, including Alex--who must be the BEST big brother on the planet.

The Joy of Cooking

My sister and I just finished watching Julie & Julia, which I surprisingly enjoyed, despite not particularly relishing all the lobster boiling and chicken deboning!

The movie features happily married women who feel a bit lost and purposeless. Julie loves to cook and, with the support of her husband, decides to cook through Julia Childs' Mastery of French Cooking in exactly one year and record the entire experience in a blog. The movie also tells a parallel story of Julia Childs' own discovery of French cooking and attempt to get published.

Both women find success and meaning in their diligent determination, and the movie left a warm glow in us--and a renewed interest in our cookbooks! In fact, I have a fantastic cookbook, Carol Gelles' 1000 Vegetarian Recipes, that I use as my 'staple' cookbook, and I momentarily considered trying to cook my way through it! However, that absurd notion soon passed, of course!

I was intrigued by the assertion that Julia Childs added to her cookbook careful explanations of how to cook, for the 'servantless' American housewife...in order to actually teach French cooking to the average American. Despite the fact that most of the book would not be of interest to me (due to its heavy focus on animal products), I am curious about French cooking techniques and tips...perhaps I'll check it out from the library before I invest in it!

I have been thinking about the purpose of art and other skills not related to basic survival for quite some time. I often step back from my determination to get the kids to practice their instruments or learn some cultural trivia and think, "why? what is the real point of any of this?" My sister and the movie seem to answer, "Joy and Fulfillment!" A brilliant artist or chef provides nourishment for the soul, and, after basic survival, this nourishment is a basic need that we have. We seek beauty and pleasure, and overall joy can be derived from developing and implementing these skills, even if there are difficulties encountered in the course of the development of these talents.

Thank you to my sister Stephenie for this thoughtful insight. I wanted to record it while it was still fresh in my mind, so that I can periodically remind myself if need be!

P.S. I've just gone back to add the title to this blog, and, to bring it all together, I thought I'd mention that we actually did spend some time looking at my copy of The Joy of Cooking, which was discussed and shown quite a bit in the film. It is an amazing book with a lot of extra writing on how to cook. There are a lot of different sections, but I have to admit that I keep finding myself on the meat sections, out of sheer shock value! This book tells you how to skin and prepare porcupines, squirrels, rabbits, etc.! Organ meats are discussed in detail with lots of recipes, too! I take a strange sort of comfort in knowing that we have a sort of 'survival' manual like this for our clueless selves if survival ever becomes an issue!:) Anyhow, that's an aside, as The Joy of Cooking is a fabulous cookbook for the regular American kitchen, and I'm delighted to know that there are many sections on cooking techniques that do apply to the vegetarian cook, including flambe and souffle and such, so no need for any fancy French cookbooks yet or likely ever!

Big Night for Ona girl

Fiona is having a big performance night! Her school is having its holiday recital, and she is dancing ballet and playing violin and recorder. She has a solo in recorder, "The Holly & the Ivy", which she's particularly nervous about. Anyhow, it's a big deal for us, though of course it's all rather beginner level.

Getting ready for Christmas

Christmas is fast approaching. I've been weighing how many presents to buy...initially resolving to be more reserved this year-- but slowly losing my conviction. Priorities need to play a role in making our decisions, but society and reality also must factor in.
The kids and I have been listening to Little House on the Prairie, and it is inspiring how the children are so grateful for an absolutely meager Christmas. However, these are children who haven't seen other kids for the entire year and have nothing to compare it to. The family is also quite poor, so they know that their parents truly are making an effort and could not afford a lot more.
It's hard to figure out exactly how much is optimal. I do sometimes wish we lived in a sort of bubble, like the Ingalls children, so that the kids don't expect or want the popular, plastic toys so much. The point of Christmas shopping, though, is to see the kids happy and excited on Christmas morning. All respect to the Ingalls, but a peppermint stick, penny, tin cup and cake aren't going to cut it for my worldly young'uns!
That said, I do not want a repeat of last year, when Fiona was overwhelmed with too much and became a little spastic and unable to appreciate her deluge. Secretly, though, I think I'll feel a tad less guilty about overwhelming her than I would feel if I got her even close to what I would consider a 'meager' Christmas. I know material goods don't translate into love, but I can't help but correlate the two. Alrighty...I'll try to tone it down a little bit...

Cinderella Trembling

Tonight I read to the kids from the book Celtic Fairy Tales, which has the most beautiful illustrations EVER! They are gilded illustrations bordered with Celtic themes.

It is my hope to give the kids a very broad-based smattering of lore from various Western cultures, particularly, so that they have a strong platform for identifying and understanding literature and modern stories with references to the past. We are establishing some 'hooks' to benefit both them and, actually, me. I continually seem to read things that suddenly trigger my memory of references made by modern literature, and I'm sure this new knowledge would enrich my enjoyment and appreciation of modern literature and films.

I'm sure this is particularly true of Greek mythology. How confused I have always been with those references. I'm delighted to finally have an elemental grasp on who they are and such. It feels like such a BASIC thing to know. In my reading of fantasy literature, these references are made CONTINUALLY, and I've always felt a bit slow...

Norse mythology is the same way, and the parallels and references are even more striking, as most of us never received any history lessons in Norse lore. I am quite looking forward to covering Norse mythology with the chillun's at some point, but, unfortunately, the violence is a concern. I have mentioned Sea of Trolls by Nancy Farmer before, I believe, and I plan to use it, and possibly Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings later, as my accompanying fictional book as we go through D'Aulaire's Book of Norse Mythology. Too bad about the violence, though...but I was amazed and drawn in by Farmer's explanations of the Tree of Yggdrassil and Valhalla and all such. I was especially struck by many of the correlations between Norse mythology and Christianity. Such an eye-opener...a bit like my amazement during a World Religions class in college. I am sometimes dismayed at what I DON'T know.

Anyhow, Waldorf curriculum places Celtic fairy tales before Greek or Norse mythology. I may find out that I'm completely off base, but I sort of don't expect to find the surprising connections and literature roots within the Celtic lore, but, then again, I may be simply unaware, as I was with Norse Mythology. Anyhow, given the recommended order and the fact that I'm uncomfortable with exposing Fiona, in particular, to the violence of the Norse myths and story, we are going to go ahead and give the Celtic mythology a go.

The first story that we read a couple of days ago about the Battle of the Birds was a meandering tale that had strong links to Narcissus, Hercules' labors, the golden apple, and the Biblical story of Jacob's wooing of Rachel and Leah. Since the Celts migrated from the Mediterranean area, it's not surprising that elements of Greek mythology enter their stories.

I was more surprised tonight, when we read "Fair, Brown, and Trembling". Alex brought up that it was the story of Cinderella even before I did. SO many elements were the same, and yet it was SO different that I was totally transfixed. Fair and Brown are Trembling's not-so-nice siblings, by the way. I am assuming that the tale of Cinderella was altered by the Celts, but perhaps that's simply my bias based on the order in which I learned the tales. Honestly, it seems to make almost more sense the other way around. There are additional factors in the Irish version that sort of explain a couple of mysterious elements in the Cinderella story and other factors that make you laugh at the Irish stereotype. For example, the prince has to brawl with several other princes before he gets to marry Trembling! Then they have 14 kids--yikes!

One bit that I'm fascinated by is that in place of the fairy godmother, we have a 'henwife' who dons a dark cloak to make her 'requests' for beautiful clothing. Freaky! Then Trembling is sent to the church entry (and she must dash away the moment the church bells ring). The whole 'dark cloak'-ed henwife juxtaposed with the church is such a curiousity! We think the henwife is good, too, in the story, and there's no suggestion that she's 'wicked'. Curiouser and curiouser...

Anyhow, the kids are totally with me so far on all of the correlations except...Biblical. I am a little embarrassed actually! I really do plan on finding a really good kids' book of Bible stories soon. I thought I had one, and I actually read perhaps half of it to them, but it ended up being more an elaborate story about Adam and Eve, so not really adequate for my purposes!

We spent several months on Greek mythology, and we finished the whole Percy Jackson saga by Rick Riordan for our fictional supportive accompaniment. I don't have any Celtic-linked fictional books that are quite so helpful with purposely trying to 'teach' the mythology via the books, but my favorite childhood author, Lloyd Alexander, wrote his Chronicles of Prydain with strong Celtic roots. I suppose I'll bring that on board, but I sort of feel like I need to read a bit more lore first, as Lloyd Alexander does not explain the links for us, unlike Riordan or Farmer. It should be fun, though, and I suspect I'll learn of a lot more Celtic connections within the Prydain world than I realized, even, once we cover the basic Celtic mythology.

My Flesh and Blood

Alex climbed into the car the other day holding a water bottle and a novel. I was so proud! That there is my son...those are my ever-present companions, as well! He is currently reading the 39 Clues books, which I've just started myself.
We were playing Apples to Apples Junior with the kids last night, and for the adjective 'boring' I put out the card 'Football Game'. Michael and Fiona placed out their options, and Alex, as judge, chose 'Football Game', saying "definitely that one!". Again, I'm a proud mama! I do understand that he could change his mind in the future, but I hadn't expected him to pick my card and was just surprised.
Alex's personality is also like mine in some ways. He's very sensitive and extremely conscientious. He is ALWAYS thinking about the environment and trying to come up with ways to save the planet. He's also very interested in nutrition and often makes 'healthy' choices that are contrary to his natural kid cravings! He believes in science and is quite the religious critic!

Actually, I don't know that these tendencies are heritable, and I assume they largely have to do with his influence by me. However, Fiona is not so much that way. Alex was ranting about slavery one day and Fiona said sweetly, "I'd like to have a maid". I laughed and thought that I could totally imagine what it would have been like if they'd been children on a slave plantation. Alex would have made fast friends with a slave and have pushed the slave into making an escape. Alex would probably run away with him to provide him cover! Fiona, on the other hand, would never contemplate the morality of the situation, but she would be incredibly charming to them and the slaves would think she was a lovely doll!
Alex is an outside-the-box thinker. He is not one to follow the masses, which of course brings a bit of innate turmoil to life that many consider unnecessary, but I secretly am full of pride in my conviction that Alex would not have condoned slavery or have been a mindless SS soldier in Nazi Germany. Psychological studies show most people are prone to mindless following of the mass concensus. It takes a strong moral sense and ethical radar to refrain, and I have no doubt at all Alex has that rare and precious trait.

Alex is definitely his own person, though, and he does have a good bit of Michael in him as well. Alex is surprisingly sentimental and loves to buy presents for other people. He personally bought cards for both Michael and me for Thanksgiving. He doesn't act like such a sappy chap, but he's a dear sweetheart. His letter to Santa this year was loathe to ask for anything, and he wrote over half a page before mentioning any item, which was only a DVD movie and movie tickets! He's been dying to see Alvin and the Chipmunks for over a year and now, apparently, a new movie is coming out. That's it! No, I don't take credit for Alex's generous, sentimental nature (Michael!) or lack of greed (hmm, maybe Michael, too!).

Not 100% absent, though... Alex seems to think he should give things away, but often, if other people make it clear that they don't want something or are done with it, I can see him gladly take it. He'll buy something for Fiona and then sort of wheedle a bit from her... I suppose my concern is more that he won't buy what he wants for himself, but he will a little bit. And I mean, would he really be okay with only a DVD for Christmas? Just a bit concerned that he doesn't think it's okay to ask for things for himself. (That can be Michael, too!)

Contrary to what I've just written, though, Alex is Mr. Businessman. He's always been fascinated by the thought of selling things and making money (his Capricorn sun sign, methinks). He actually does sell things fairly easily and brings home cash from deals that he's made. THAT is not me AT ALL. Nor is it Michael in the slightest. Yay for the Capricorn influence, I suppose!

Alex actually currently donates quite a bit of his allowances to environmental groups such as The Ocean Conservancy and National Wildlife Federation. They have no idea what a large portion of his income he donates.

Alex is not perfect, but wow. A Tibetan Buddhist monk met Alex when he was a baby and said something about him being the embodiment of a holy figure. Perhaps it was a jest, but that crosses my mind a lot...

Thanksgiving decorations

Do you know how you end up with a particular ornament every now and then that just tickles your fancy?
I bought a sleek black porcelain cat from a fancy candle company (at a neighbor's event) last year for Halloween, and it perched on my piano last month, tickling my fancy every time that I walked by.
Last week, we were at Big Lots, of all places, and I passed by the Thanksgiving decorations. I'm not generally that into decorations, but I noticed a ceramic pilgrim couple on a top shelf and thought, "why not? They're half off.." Anyhow, that was a bit uncharacteristic, but they were placed where the cat used to reside and I'm completely bubbly about them! I love the pilgrims! What great decorations! The obscenely low price is beside the point!
Anyhow, I'm such a pack rat... if I could only bring myself to discard crap decorations and only put out the really fab stuff I'm sure I'd be a lot happier! ('Crap' and 'fab' are directly attributable to Sophie Kinsella's influence! :)

Skip rope

My dear daughter is truly a female. Last night, after the kids had supposedly gone to bed, I heard Fiona and Alex talking. She had come to him with her emotional angst about friends at school, and he was patiently listening and trying to allow her to vent, though he was really just sleepy! I went and gathered her up and took her to the study couch to listen a bit (and to allow Alex to get some rest!).
It was nice to cuddle on the couch, and she felt better very quickly as I listened and tried to understand what was bothering her. While I meant to be simply validating, I fell into the fix-it mode about her playground issues--some of which involved BORING games that other kids always wanted to play.
Anyhow, I asked about games like hopscotch and jump rope. Isn't there always a group of girls who play with jump ropes every day at recess? They have their rhymes--"Cinderella dressed in yella..."--and it always seemed like a fun activity to pass the time. Fiona was actually interested in both of these ideas, and she's going to find out if it's all right for her to bring a jump rope to recess (who knows, perhaps it's considered a weapon...). She'll go ahead and bring in some sidewalk chalk next week.
That was last night, and then early this morning I looked up and printed out Skip Rope Rhymes off of the internet for her. As I later cleaned breakfast dishes, I listened to Sophie Kinsella's book, Remember Me?, and Lexie is recalling meeting her best friend Fee (as in Fiona!) on the playground when she was six and Fee came up and told her that her skip rope was rubbish and then let her play with Fee's own skip rope! I know I'm always pointing out coincidences, but wow...how often do I read about a Fiona on a playground with a jump rope, especially in books that aren't written for kids?
No, I don't blog all the coincidences that occur, and they do seem to happen at a very high and surprising rate.

Oh, while I'm talking about uncanny intuitive happenings, Michael was talking about putting shingles on the nesting box lid a couple of days ago. I was talking about adding a knob off the front of the lid and fell silent, with a ridiculous silly image in my head of Michael shingling the top of the knob! It was too stupid and silly to even say, but Michael laughed and said, "What? You want me to shingle the knob?" I was flabbergasted! How could he have known that absurd thought was in my head? He said that he read it in my expression! I know I'm an open book, but that blew me away...

Natural Gratitude

We've just had Thanksgiving. We had a HUGE and INCREDIBLE meal, and I thoroughly enjoyed it, but I sort of forgot to consciously give thanks for all the wonderful things in my life. That is, I didn't consciously make a list, but, you know, I was so elated and cheery about the wonderful meal, most of which Michael cooked, and I was grateful in a natural way. The tradition of Thanksgiving brings out our natural gratitude. We see and enjoy what we have. We connect with our family and our food and our comfy couches and such. We relish what we have, which is, in a sense, the best way to really 'be' thankful.

Sophii and Sophie

I've mentioned that Sophie Kinsella is currently my new favorite author of the moment and that she's a Sag, but it just occurred to me last night the coincidence that I'd set up my 'Mii' character on our 'Wii' with the name Sophii (since Sonya is considered a derivative of Sophia) and with the birthday of 12/12 (the 180 degree opposite birthday of mine, for my Mii alterego). Anyhow, Sophie Kinsella's birthday happens to be December 12th! Isn't that almost uncanny that I picked the same name and birthday of my next favorite author, before I'd even heard of her?
Yes, I take things way too far with my imaginary relationships! As a girl, I once dreamt that Lloyd Alexander, my childhood favorite author, was actually my father. It was the sweetest dream. He simply walked in my room to wake me up for school in the morning and stood looking out the window, in a wise and thoughtful way. The sun was shining and I felt blissfully happy and safe with my 'Dad'!
Obviously I do feel quite connected to authors. I feel like I know them better, in a sense, than most people we interact with on a day-to-day level. We sense their priorities, values, and ethics. We get in touch with their senses of humor. We know what moves them. There are no small annoyances or interpersonal problems. It's not like they no-show on you or get grumpy with you. I'd have to say that this is particularly helpful for Sag folks, who typically can't stand having emotional demands placed on them and are known for unreliability and avoidance! None of those things matter for authors, and the beauty of their wisdom and optimistic spirit shines through.
Okay, I digress! I simply was tickled about the coincidence of my Mii 'random' name and birthdate matching my new fav author!

The Wisdom of Being Shallow

Life is complicated.  If life isn't randomly throwing me things to deal with, then it seems I seek them out.  Mischief finds me, or I find it!   
It may be all that Cancer in my chart...they're known for seeking out the emotional drama in every relationship.  Or perhaps the Gemini...too much processing leads to suspicions everywhere!  Or perhaps it's just being human...
Honestly, when I have long catch-up chats with other folks, my life often seems blissfully serene in comparison.  Perhaps the universe knows I stay in a perpetual state of feeling overwhelmed and thus is actually less demanding of me than it could be. 
Anyhow, this rambling conversation was inspired by the book of a new favorite author, Sophie Kinsella.  I LOVE SOPHIE KINSELLA!!!  She's a fabulous, wonderful author with an amazing ability to inspire with her ridiculous, lighthearted situations.  She is a wonderful Sagittarius, as are many of my very favorite people (though ironically, NONE of my immediate family members are Sag).
 
I am on my third Kinsella book, which is her original Confessions of a Shopaholic.  Becky Bloomwood is a lovable character with a penchant for getting herself into scrapes. Her life is a roller coaster of highs and lows, and, though it does seem a bit shallow, she inspires by constantly letting insurmountable troubles fall away in her unbelievable optimism! This story encourages us to Try, Try Again! It's also a boon for our egos, as our own faults seem less severe after making so many allowances for Becky's!
 
I actually identified a bit with Becky when I would feel her horrible, mortifying lows and wallow in them just a tad, only to feel myself lifting out of those lows way before I expected to when she would bounce back with her cheery, perky, optimistic attitude.  You just can't resist laughing at her...and knowing that she's right!  No sense in wallowing!
 
I have watched small children instantaneously jump from tantrum to cheery play, and I've often been quite relieved that they don't have the self-consciousness to resist that jump.  Truly, I think many of us are attached to our troubles out of a sense of congruity.  If we're devastated tonight, then it would be terribly shallow to be bright and perky tomorrow--and it would somehow negate the authenticity of our feelings, goes the logic.
 
Yes, I did feel disconcerted at times by Becky's ability to bounce back and not dwell on her troubles, but I also felt inspired.  We create our lives, and a big part of that is trying to achieve our goals.  Clinging to negative emotions or situations makes our life about those, instead of a balance of highs and lows.  Perhaps we should just aim to fully experience them as quickly as possible and then we're off to experience the next high with full enjoyment. 
 
I suppose that's part of the attraction of the book for me.  Becky DID experience those lows.  She berated herself, felt extreme humiliation, fully realized and experienced the drama of the situation.  Utterly satisfactory wallowing and wailing!  Her indomitable spirits surged back, though, unfailingly. 
She did acknowledge her likeness to a child at one point, when she commented "like a child on Christmas morning...well, okay, like ME on Christmas morning." 
Children have a certain wisdom in their unaffected simplicity in dealing with trials.  We MUST bounce back in order to enjoy our lives, because we ALL have problems.  So in this sense, Happiness is dependent on letting go of our attachments, much as the Buddhists tell us.  I would say the attachments to our troubles are some of the first attachments we need to eliminate.

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First Baby Tooth Lost!

Fiona just lost her first tooth last night. She's 7 1/2 years old and feeling WAY behind...a month or so ago she asked me, perhaps seriously, if I could knock out some of her teeth! She's can't stop giggling and running to the mirror!

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Bird Suspicions

Hmm, just following up on my chicken blog from the other day. Know how I mentioned that the Australorps were quite mellow in comparison to the Faverolles? Well, I've been doing a bit of reading and have found that most hatcheries cross-breed and you rarely get a 'purebred' rare breed of chicken, even if that's what's ordered. While Australorps are for more common (and thus more likely to be more 'purebred'), the Faverolles are not--and thus are far more likely to be produced as cross-breeds.
I picked up Chloe today, and she screeched the entire time! I thought she'd calm down after a minute or so, but I finally let her go ('before she had a heart attack!' Fiona quipped). How disappointing! Chloe has a much lighter carriage than expected and only 4 toes per foot, despite the requisite 5-toe 'Faverolle' breed requirement. The possible upside of this is that perhaps she was crossed with a Leghorn--a flighty and fussy bird but very prolific layer! I do hope there is that upside!
Think I'm going to head out now for some nice, calm Australorp bonding time!

Picky, Picky, Picky Eaters!

My wonderful kids impressed me so much last Sunday, when they both happily scarfed down raw spinach leaves with their red beans and rice (nothing fancy...the kids have already rejected my labor-intensive homemade red beans and rice...this is a Mahatma package with spices already included). I was on cloud nine! My picky eaters were raving about how great it was...and they asked for and received it in their lunches on Monday!

So, with hopes renewed, I woke up early this morning and prepared a frittata, with leeks, potatoes, and zucchini. Delicious, and a creation that actually held its shape, which is an achievement for me! I served a neat slice on a blue scallop-edged platter to Alex and held my breath as he tasted it. Hunh-uh, he shook his head with conviction. Fiona merely glanced at it and cried YUCK!

Oh well...I wasn't wholly surprised, but I was disappointed. Over the course of the day, I managed to eat the ENTIRE frittata myself, as it's one of the most delicious foods I've had in forever!

Alex had asked for a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner, so I found a simple recipe for the essential accompaniment, tomato soup. It was blended in the end for that kid-friendly presentation, and I was quite proud and hopeful of this new accomplishment, but, again, they both wrinkled noses and rejected my soup!

I left the kitchen a mess, with my soup sitting in blender and bowl and pot, and came up here to write this blog! What to do about my finicky eaters? I suppose just try to have patience. I'm paying my dues, I suppose, for my own selective palate in childhood!

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Halloween Delight!

I have caught the Halloween spirit! I've always liked it and viewed it rather wistfully, to be honest...last year was the first year I had an honest-to-goodness great costume (a Snow Queen), and that was fun, except that I was stuck home due to a recent knee surgery and was seen only by the few trick-or-treaters who came to my door!
This year, I had an unrelated Halloween-night obligation that was cancelled the night before, so I'd put NO thought into a costume. After Alex's soccer game on Halloween day, we went out to eat with Michael's family, and we didn't get home until well about 5 p.m. The thought of putting together a costume never entered my mind until about 4 p.m., when we had an impromptu invite to join my friend Virginia and her family for trick-or-treating.
When I got home, I tried on Fiona's witch hats from the previous couple of years and found they were too small--of course! So, I took a brown cloth hairband and stitched a hat onto it! I put on a simple black long dress and Alex's Darth Vader cape from last year. Green and black face paint, black boots, and Fiona's witch's broom completed the ensemble! I have always wanted to be a witch for Halloween (and yes, I did get the, "why should Halloween be any different?" jokes!), so I was totally tickled about it. I was only slightly dismayed to notice that at least half of the other moms who dressed up were witches as well!
My costume was thrown together hastily, of course, as I was primarily focused on getting my Spider Girl put together! She regarded her fancy bought costume as her formal gown, as of course she would typically be wearing fitted clothes for her normal Spider-Girl activities. Her hair was the pinnacle of my hair-design success, almost worthy of Star Wars itself, I do believe! The goal was to mimick eight spider legs in a 'crown' setting, but I'm not sure anyone realized that until I pointed it out! She looked simply gorgeous until I applied the face paint. Unfortunately, her face seems to have reacted to the face paint and it is red and a bit swollen even now...
Alex and Michael worked on Alex's Ninja costume, which again looked great with no real cost associated. Simple and comfy and fun!

I am delighted to report that, for the second year that we've left candy out on the doorstep in a container, that we've returned to see some candy still there! It gives one reason for hope in the decency of our neighbors and community!
My gripe (and of course there is a gripe!) is about all the folks who leave porch lights on when they're not home on Halloween. It's very disappointing for the kids to continually go up and ring these doorbells only to not receive any reply. Don't people know that a porch light indicates a welcome to trick-or-treaters? If they must leave it on but won't be home, then they should at least put out a bin of candy for the trick-or-treaters who will show up! Otherwise, they should turn them off on Halloween! It's common courtesy!
I swear, I'm thinking of printing up note cards for the kids to tape on the doors of all those lame or uninformed folks next year!
So funny that I can get so worked up over a minor thing like that on such a fun night! We had a simple evening locally with our friends and Michael's parents. The kids looked great and had fun. Oh, and one woman on a barren cul-de-sac gave each of our kids three handfuls of candy, as she wasn't getting any trick-or-treaters! Just an FYI for those of you who stick to the more well-travelled paths!

The Red Dominiker

Dominque or 'Dominiker'--this is the black-and-white barred variety, but apparently there is a red-and-white variation that I assume is what she means by 'Red Dominiker' (hen on left)

Black Australorps (hen on left)

Salmon Faverolle!


Barnevelder

Delaware hen

Buff Orpington (hen on left)

Our feathered friends are just a delight! We are all tickled about our four chickens...the sweet, placid, and clever black Australorps and the docile but somewhat less clever and more skittish Salmon Faverolles. My mother laughs when I talk about them and says I've inherited my Grandmother's gene for loving chickens!

Being quite interested in the different breeds of chickens, I asked Michael's mother, Elaine, if she knew what kind of chickens her family in rural Mississippi raised. I was surprised she knew, but she said quite decisively "Red Dominikers". Inquisitively, I went on-line to read about this breed and found that the Dominikers, or more formally 'Dominiques', were the chickens of the pioneers and claim the title 'America's first [chicken] breed'.

The Dominickers lay only perhaps half the eggs of the prolific layers, but they are a hearty and robust bird. They are great foragers and, while calm enough for the chicken yard, they are not a bird to be bullied! Great dual-purpose birds, too, they were grown for both meat and eggs.

Personality-wise, they sound much like the pioneers, don't they? Hearty, robust folks who could make do with little and multi-task! Not the nicest lot of folks, either, as they needed to be somewhat tough for survival!

Apparently, despite their early popularity, these chickens were in decline around the mid-20th century and were considered endangered, but they have come back in popularity just a bit in the last few years, with the new focus on heritage breeds. For historical interest and family nostalgia, I had some interest in buying a Dominicker hen, but I think I may have to pass, as I don't want our sweet, gentle chickens to be dominated by a Dominicker!

Which breeds have my fancy, then? I have heard that the Buff Orpingtons are the most docile, best pet chickens around, and I had a friend recommend hers as the 'favorite' of her family's chickens. They look so fat and fluffy! Actually, the black Australorps that we have are derived from the Orpingtons, which also increases the attractiveness, as the Australorps seem so bright and calm. The Barnevelders have striking, gorgeous plumage. The Delawares are good layers and have a very classic, picturesque look.

Parlez vous Francais?

Last year, when I had nearly completed the introductory Pimsleur Swedish conversational course, I was bubbling with enthusiasm and bought the French Pimsleur course as well.

I have always wanted to take French, which I considered a romantic language (hmm, it technically is a romantic language!), but my mother insisted that Spanish would be more useful to me and therefore I took Spanish courses in high school and then college.
On occasion, though, I have studied a teensy bit of French, and I've found it interesting how similar French and Spanish words are--even sometimes deciphering a smidgeon of French writing with my Spanish background (both Latin roots). I believe though, because French drops the ending of so many words in actual speech, that actually interpreting the French spoken word is much more challenging. I'm not fluent at all in Spanish, though, so I really couldn't say!

Anyhow, after actually finishing the Swedish course and not making it to Sweden (I figured we weren't going to from the beginning, honestly...the course was a hopeful just-in-case measure with linguistic entertainment benefits), and then seeing the language skills fall away immediately, I lost enthusiasm for starting a new course at that time. The bug has struck again, though, and I am now newly immersed in the Pimsleur Conversational French beginner's program.

Thus far, three curious thoughts have struck me while listening. Please forgive my largely phonetic spellings, as this course is purely via CDs and without a manual (good for listening to while getting chores done). Here they are:

1. The word for 'where' sounds like 'oo'...not overly similar to 'where'...BUT 'Where is the street?' sounds like 'Oo eh la rue?' Spoken quickly, 'oo-eh' sounds awfully close to 'where'.

2. Okay, back to the whole stereotype thing. Know how I related certain words to the Viking mentality? As with the Swedish word for 'speak' being interpreted by the strong, silent types as 'pratar' (prattle, in my mind)? Well, the French word for 'speak' is 'parlez' (sounds like parley). In English, parley refers to discussing terms, settling disputes and such. So, the Vikings view speech as a nuisance, 'prattle', whereas the French view speech nearly as a sport--conversation is an artful maneuvering of words, a parley! Love the stereotypes!

3. The French word for yes is 'oui' (pronounced 'we'), but they have a common phrase 'but yes' when they disagree, and the word 'yes' here is like 'si' (pronounced 'see') in Spanish. I find this interesting. Are the fiery Spaniards so contrary that they took up the dissenting yes as their sole form of saying 'yes'? Really curious! Additionally, don't we say in English 'but see...' when we disagree, often? Is it a French vestige? Perhaps the French picked it up from the English, as 'but see' seems more logical than 'but yes' (or maybe I'm just so used to it...)? Could it be related or am I really stretching things?

I love thinking about how languages have evolved. Linguistics are fab!:)

Dutch Art Day and an Opossum

The kids and I went to the Jepson Museum yesterday for a Free Family Day. We viewed the travelling exhibit of Dutch-inspired paintings by Americans and we listened to a lutenist for a while. We also bought things in the gift shop, of course! The kids made a lion and dinosaur last night from their new clay model set, which had the skeletons included for a structural base.

Michael stayed home, abandoned by us, to work on the chicken coop--as colder weather is approaching and we've had an issue with an opossum letting itself into the coop! He built a nesting box for the chickens, which is exciting, though we don't expect eggs for a few months. The coop isn't finished yet, but it's getting there. It is enclosed, though, as it's always been, with wire fencing, but he's putting up walls and such.

I hope the chickens survive the hazards of predators... This business of staying alive is difficult for a chicken. Last week alone, we had two episodes with an opossum and another with a cat prowling and pouncing at the coop. The cat incident was during the day, actually, when I normally let them out of the coop to roam the back yard (which is enclosed with a privacy fence). It's enough to consider keeping them cooped up, but they are so very wonderful running all over the yard, scratching and eating up the nuisance bugs. Besides, I'm convinced that they are some of the prettiest chickens in the whole world, and I love seeing them running around the yard through the kitchen windows. Maybe it's 'parental' bias, as I think that my own children are unbelievably gorgeous, too! I'd miss the chickens if they were stuck in their coop and run.

Anyhow, I should have stayed home to help him, I suppose, but I jump at these educational opportunities, and these travelling museum exhibits are really once-in-a-lifetime events. Speaking of which, I believe there's a Leonardo da Vinci exhibit currently at the High Museum in Atlanta through February... we must go! Some of the pieces are on display in the Unites States for the first time ever. It would be a shame to miss his art when they've brought it so close to us, while I can completely imagine happily travelling to Europe and spending time there to view his work!

Hmm, I do have a personal da Vinci anecdote... When I was 9 years old, my father was stationed in Germany for 3 years. We only took one real vacation in Europe, aside from day trips, and that was to spend a week in Barcelona, Spain. While rummaging around in some small street shops, we found a junk shop which sold paintings in an alley. Being only nine, I became extremely excited when I found the Mona Lisa in an antique frame there. I bought the painting for 350 pesetas (about $3.50) and secretly thought that I may have found the original but long-lost famous painting in the shop and that it might be worth millions! I toted that painting all over the city with me that day, and the print currently hangs in our kitchen, next to my window view of the chickens!

Anyhow, I don't believe the Mona Lisa is in this High Museum exhibit, but I've got that one covered:). The Louvre probably doesn't want to give that one up very often, I'd imagine!

So...I'm feeling terribly guilty about skipping out on working on the coop this weekend, though I know Michael had it covered. He could have used some help, and we had planned to work on the coop this weekend, but I didn't really hear about the exhibit/family day until just a couple of days before and hated to miss a cultural opportunity for the kids (and myself!).

Guess I'll have to make it up to him later! Sometimes there just doesn't seem to be enough time for everything...

More tiling...

I am thoroughly tired today, after a busy weekend of remodeling Michael's new treatment room. How satisfactory...to see long-lasting fruits of our labors! We painted the room on Saturday, and we laid tile on Sunday.
Unfortunately, at the end of the day on Saturday, after contentedly viewing the new colors on the walls, we laid out some tile just to get a sense of what it would look like, and I was appalled at the rosy color of the tiles in my cool blue-green-grey room. No, no, no!
Michael had already hauled all of those heavy tiles from the car to the room, but we went on Sunday to buy NEW white-grey tiles and he then had to haul the others BACK to the car and BACK to the store. His poor BACK! So, we did lay the new tiles out yesterday, and, as I write, the cement is drying beneath them. Grouting is tomorrow! Again, Michael was a sport about being the heavy labor support guy through this process. He cut tile for me, mixed mortar, and even handed me tiles as I laid them. I got all the fun work of actually setting them in place! Despite that, I was exhausted by the end of the day, just as any child would be after playing with mud and rocks for hours and hours!
I did find the process easier this time round. We had fewer questions about how to go about things. We know where to get our eco-friendly paints, we've tiled before and had the tools and tile saw, etc. I found that I had much more patience with painting...perhaps after having the experience of knowing that it WILL be done, even though it seems to take forever.
I still oscillate on knowing how much to invest in aesthetics. Aesthetics alone are worth something, of course, but I also have a strong belief in recycling and reusing, and I love innovation and conservation. So..for example, I'm wrestling right now with buying a new lamp for the corner of the room. We have two perfectly fine lamps that could suffice, but neither is the pewter or silver color I would like... and I'm still rankled over the fact that we bought a nice rug for the room that cost only a quarter of the cost of the gorgeous one that I wanted to get for it. We bought simple, large, and very nice ceramic tile instead of the gorgeous Italian porcelain tile (that cost almost three times as much) that we used on his office... It is all coming together very nicely and will look perfectly satisfactory, I believe. 5-star hotel quality, but not an exquisite piece of art. Oh well...
It is exciting that Michael will have a slightly larger treatment room--with a window! We have great enthusiasm about that window. It even has the deep windowsill characteristic of old homes. Michael and I have talked about those types of windowsills wistfully for at least a decade, and, given our current satisfaction with our house, are fairly unlikely to ever have deep windowsills of our own. So...that windowsill means A LOT to us!:) It's large enough to set supplies on, and the window does open for a much-needed airing out when necessary. Hurrah!

I'll look forward to posting a picture of the treatment room when it is pulled together in a week or so.

Encouraging Effort

I read a great article the other day. Sometimes, despite feeling that we've exhausted a subject and are just tweaking the details, we are surprised with information that vastly changes how we approach a particular area of our lives--parenting, in this case. Maybe VASTLY is too strong a word, but it's definitely a paradigm shift!
The point of the article is that studies have shown that praising EFFORT is the way to go with our kids. If we focus on a child's effort, then she takes pride in making great effort and will be less daunted by failure, knowing that she still put forth effort. Encouraging effort leads to the child applying more effort and being willing to face more difficult challenges.
This may sound like common sense, but it is easy to fall into another easy 'common sense' mode of parenting, and I'm afraid that I'm guilty of the latter. Not that there's anything wrong with an occasional word of sheer praise about our child's giftedness, but apparently continual praise of a child's innate abilities and gifts makes them complacent and less willing to apply effort. In fact, they fear any challenging activity, as it may prove that they aren't as smart or athletic or whatever as we believe. They also have a sense that these subjects should feel effortless, if they're so 'good' at them!
The article gave an example of a young boy who was continually praised for being a genius, and rightly so, as he scored in the top 1% of the top 1% on standardized aptitude exams. Surprisingly, he seemed to be completely lacking in ambition and shied away from more difficult subjects. For example, he wouldn't attempt cursive until the third grade and then only with much pressure.
This illustration hit home with me. My oh-so-smart Alex has always been told how brilliant he is. His math abilities were phenomenal when he was tiny...pre-algebra was a piece of cake! When I sent him to Montessori school, I was surprised that he continually did not want to try activities. He refused to do art, and he raved about a manipulative called 'Color Box 1' so much that I visited the classroom to see it, thinking perhaps I'd buy him one for Christmas. I was amazed to find that Color Box 1 was actually just a panel of primary colors, and all he had to do was identify the colors. We're talking red, yellow, and blue. I was rather stunned and quite disappointed. What was the appeal of that? Now I think it was that he could quickly and perfectly finish this activity. No learning was involved, but his feelings of adequacy were not jeopardized by this activity.
So, when I read that article, this really hit home. I haven't praised Alex for his efforts much. In fact, I probably complained that he doesn't try hard enough. I have slathered on the praise about his 'giftedness', though in the past couple of years I have teased him quite a bit that he hit his head too many times and isn't as smart as he used to be! I really haven't loaded on the praise about his giftedness nearly as much, and I even tease him that the school placed him in the wrong special ed class! This is all said in total jest, and he gets it, but perhaps it's taken the pressure off a bit. He does seem to be doing better now and has less fear. I'm glad to have read this article now, as it really sheds light on our past and gives more direction to my parenting efforts in the future.
In contrast to Alex's upbringing, there's always been a tacit implication that Fiona is not necessarily quite as 'gifted' as him, especially mathematically. I have felt terrible about implying this, but I'm pretty sure it's a given in how we've communicated. However, it didn't seem to slow her down, and she's always generally put out a lot of effort and hasn't seemed afraid of failure.
Recently, though, I've been feeling frustrated when dealing with her activities, and I have wondered why she doesn't seem to be trying as much as she used to. I know she has the innate ability, and I keep telling her that. Now, I realize perhaps this was hurting more than helping, as she feels that since she has the 'innate' ability, that it should come naturally and effortlessly. I only read the article within the past week, but both Michael and I have tried to shift to applying praise about the EFFORT put forth by both of them, in order to encourage it. Fiona seems to thrive on that, and tonight she whizzed through her instrument practicing, even playing extra times and declaring that from now on she's going to focus just that much!
For the past couple of days, I have tried to be specific with praise, as in, "I like how you only paused for a moment before practicing that song immediately again. That saves so much time!"
and "I like how you seem to be paying attention to keeping a steady rhythm." I'm still struggling with keeping a distinction between innate abilities and effort, though. It's so easy to slip into, "you're so great at keeping a tempo!", which, I suppose, could make her nervous about trying a song with a difficult rhythm, whereas if I praise how focused she is on TRYING to keep a tempo, she may WANT to try a difficult rhythm to see if she can do it! Complicated, but perhaps important.
Moral of the story...praise effort in lieu of innate ability!

Our pets

A Black Australorp--Rachel or Bach?
Good old Lorelai

New rescue rabbit Zoe...with Chloe behind her

2 Black Australorps (Bach & Rachel) and 1 Salmon Faverolle (Giselle)


Our chickens were only 6 weeks old in these pics...they're growing up fast!

Alex catches soccer ball

I only used my silent video function on my camera this once during the game, and I actually got Alex catching the ball! Nice momento from his very first soccer game!

Alex's First Soccer Game

These are pics from Alex's first soccer game, in which he was goalie full-time. It was actually the busiest game for him, as the other team was fantastic. The other goalie never had anything to do, but Alex had to catch ball after ball. He did great! A few, however, did get past him, and the other team won the game.

Alex's team has played two more games since, and Alex has been the goalie for half of each game. His team has won these last two games. Woo-hoo!

Savannah Entertainment and High School

When we lived in Washington, I saw an advertisement for college gymnastics meets at Alex's gymnastics studio (a short-lived activity). Hoping to inspire him, we went to the UW campus and watched the gymnastics, not really expecting so much. Instead, we were blown away! It was like we'd found a secret Cirque de Soleil performing for virtually free and locally, with no crowding. They put on quite a show, with music and smoke and great half-time entertainment. We started attending quite a few of their meets, and I relished our secret find!

Since living in Savannah, we have occasionally attended special plays or ballets downtown, but those are fairly infrequent these days. If we buy tickets for only $25 apiece, then we're still out $100 for the four of us.

I received an informational e-mail passed along through the kids' school, though, about a ballet held at the Savannah Arts Academy. Since Fiona is newly back into ballet, I took her on Thursday, not expecting a lot but thinking we might enjoy it. It was $9 for the two of us.

To my amazement, the dancers were incredible. I've seen the professional Savannah ballet company, and I thought these dancers were much better, though perhaps it was partly due to my low expectation. I was so tickled that I took Michael, Alex, my dad, and my neice and nephew back to see the second showing with Fiona and me again on Friday. I enjoyed that showing, too!

What a marvelous show! During intermission, we were able to peruse a Halloween art show done by the visual artists at the academy. The talent, again, seemed professional.

Anyhow, I feel like I've found our 'secret' Savannah venue for entertainment. The four of us can attend their dances for under $20. This Thursday is a FREE piano concert called 'Fingers of Fury', and I'm very much looking forward to it and hoping that it inspires my burgeoning pianists.

I have been nurturing a hope that we will enroll the kids in Savannah Arts Academy for high school. Though a public school, it's a dedicated magnet for only arts applicants, so the hoodlums and associated violence are virtually non-present, since only motivated students are attending. For this reason, and the high SAT scores and College Prep curriculum, I have inclined towards this high school. The actual arts component wasn't really my prime motivator in selecting the school, though I thought it would be nice.

After seeing this the ballet and art shows, though, I am realizing that these high school students are receiving intensive arts training that is really a serious gig. I imagine the best student artists from all over Chatham county are applying to attend the Academy, and the best dance graduates of SAA probably go on to elite professional ballet companies outside of Savannah. So I may not be off the mark when I think this showing was better than the local professional company!

I don't know, of course, that the kids will want to attend this school. There is a Math and Technology magnet at another high school that Alex has expressed interest in, but it's not a dedicated magnet school, so the thug element is present at the school. Alex is not particularly artsy-minded, but he is developing some piano skill, and I will probably be encouraging SAA for him. Fiona currently wants to be a visual artist, so we're already talking about SAA for her, too! I guess we'll see!

A Prudish Facebook Victorian

In this age of internet and extreme entertainment, I sometimes feel out of place, as though I belong in a more sheltered era. For example, I have Facebook friends who post lewd messages and pictures, which always set me out of sorts but must make other people simply laugh. I do appreciate an occasional clever remark with innuendo, but crude, crass jokes and pictures really sort of upset me, and I wonder if I'm the only one. Honestly, I never thought I was so 'prudish' until fairly recently.

Yesterday, I went to sit in on orientation for a liberal sex education class for children. I did not bring Alex, as I wanted to gauge the class and see if it was something I wanted for him. If it had been nature-based, as in focusing on physiology and basic science, I may have been open to it. We saw a movie once with a young Native American boy who understood about deer mating, which shocked the white schoolteachers and prompted punishment, but which seem optimal to me. The boy probably also understand about human sex and how it produced children. If this liberal sex education had been about natural sexuality and how it relates to life and our wholesome families, I may have been alright with it.

However, I stayed for about 15 minutes and left, practically in tears. I am mystified at how my 10 year old boy in any way should be prompted to think about cultural sexual norms and deviations and vulgarities (e.g., associated slang speech). This class was designed for 5th and 6th graders to last over 8 sessions! Why does he need to spend that much time on this subject and why delve into vulgarities and deviations at such a young age? The implicit answer seem to be empowerment and development of tolerance, but I dissent.

Alex should be focusing on his studies, on his pets, on his Yu-gi-oh cards, on his sports... They suggested that the children are exposed to blatant sexuality in our media anyway, but Alex leads a rather sheltered life in his Montessori school. We don't have cable, and my children watch pre-approved videos for entertainment. I'm not drastic--they see plenty of violence with Harry Potter movies and Hot Wheels and other fantasy and cartoon pics. Alex reads environmental newsletters and is thus acutely aware of destructive environmental concerns. The stories we read and listen to often have quite a bit of romantic energy, but these usually culminate in a kiss, a confirmed romantic link, and not much more.

Anyway, Alex is somewhat fortunate to be so sheltered, but many other children could be, as well, if their parents attempted to make it so. Why do they have a need to be worldly? Is it really beneficial for them to be so "empowered" with information that they neither need nor should be burdened with? I did sit down and explain the physiology of sex with him one day, when he kept asking about how babies are made (and wanted more information than my prior genetics-based explanations). He listened for a bit and allowed me to finish, and then he asked to go outside and play. He never brought it up again and I'm not even sure that he fully understood my explanation, though he said he did at the time. I simply bring that up to demonstrate that I'm not trying to hide important information from him.

The other day, Fiona saw a 4 year old wearing a denim miniskirt, dangly earrings, makeup, and high heels. She had long blonde hair and was quite the 4-yr-old hotpants. Ms. Hotpants is also a cheerleader and demonstrated some very suggestive moves, prompting one mom to remark, "wow, cheerleading has changed a lot since I was a girl."

Fiona, of course, noticed Ms. Hotpants and wanted to know why I wouldn't let her wear makeup, too, and I actually had trouble coming up with much more of an answer than, "because you're too young."

I never considered myself a 'nun' with regards to sexuality. I had crushes on boys, and I always revelled in subtle flirting and such. I even read romance novels a bit, mostly as a teenager, but I still enjoy the romance in the Twilight stories and such. I have seen nudity to a great degree in my clinical practice, too, and I could almost swear that certain people have made a point of trying to make me more worldly with their lewd jokes and pictures and such, so I don't feel that my attitude is for lack of exposure. I grew up with no restrictions on my television habits, and I did see my fair share of MTV.

Frankly, though, I am overwhelmed at the preponderance and acceptance of blatant sexuality in our media and increasingly so in our casual relationships, such as on Facebook. I'm not referring to flirting, but to simple lewd humor.

I won't even begin on pornography, but you probably can guess my views. I suppose no one thinks of herself as prudish or uptight, and, for goodness sakes, I'm a massage therapist and used to routinely give physical exams as a naturopathic physician! I do not have any hang-ups about the human body, and I have few qualms about addressing and discussing sexual issues. It's simply the lack of respect for the subject itself and for the innocence of children that bothers me...

I took a Facebook quiz last month that placed me in my appropriate era in history, and the quiz set me in the Victorian era, though I don't believe I gave particularly prudish answers. After leaving the sex education orientation in disgust, though, I'm not sure...

I do want to make one unique point in my defense, though. My last blog was about creating pathways of less resistance when we muse and ponder over certain topics. If we 'force' our ten-year-olds to think about sex and define lewd terms for them, then we are creating a pattern that they're more likely to dwell on in the future. Not to say that sex won't naturally be a preoccupation when they become teenagers and young adults, and perhaps that will be an appropriate time to address it, but it seems to me that this will only strengthen that focus and preoccupation with sex before the time comes. Not to imply, again, that there's anything wrong with sex or that we want them to be repressed, but I believe keeping it in perspective and at a respectful, contained level is the healthy way to go.

In reading back through this, it seems as though I'm oscillating from one viewpoint to another, but I think what I'm trying to do is draw the line between healthy, respectful, appropriate knowledge and an excessive, inappropriate, disrespectful, and unnecessary focus on sexuality. I want to preserve the innocence of childhood as much as possible and not push or encourage them into early sexual awareness, while still answering their legitimate questions honestly and fairly, within reason.

Addiction Patterns & Expression Responses

I've just finished the book Social Intelligence by Daniel Goleman. In this book he emphasizes how we are always creating and strengthening neural pathways. The more often we focus on a particular topic or have a particular feeling, the more that pathway is strengthened, thus we are more likely to have that feeling again or muse on that topic again. Sort of a 'path of least resistance' type of thing! In this way, we can say that our behaviors and thoughts can be addictive.
Oh, and to strenghten this argument from a different perspective, imaging studies show that the same brain centers light up when we see a loved one as do when heroin is used. Makes heroin sound tempting in a way it never did before, actually!:)
Anyhow, we can resolve to change our pathways, but the initial steps are the hardest, as it is like clearing a pathway the first few times--we have to hack through obstacles and underbrush to get through, whereas the well-travelled neural pathway is sooo easy to fall back on... This explains why all of us are prone to committing the same mistakes and behaving in the same patterns. It's not that we can't change, it's just that it is HARD to change. Luckily for us (to varying degrees), we also have some very positive patterns that are easy for us to continue. Perhaps we should focus more on those, since they are already well-travelled as well!

One tip that Goleman gives in molding ourselves to be our ideal personas is to pretend to be those persons. He relates that Edgar Allen Poe would assume the 'mask' of whatever character he was writing about, and after he'd taken on that character's affect, he often then knew what the character would say or do next. I love this idea.

Also, Goleman relates that we have a reflexive mirror response to the expressions we see. This can be employed logically in reverse to help our loved ones to assume the expressions that we would like to see them have. Simply put, if we want to see a smile, we should give a smile. We all know this is true with babies, who will reflexively smile almost immediately when any stranger smiles at them. The same is largely true with adults as well, though they may be a bit more guarded.

A Whiff of Waldorf

I am not a Waldorf adherent.  By no means...I am, in fact, more fond of the theories of Maria Montessori, a practical physician who believed in solid, realistic, respectful learning at a child's own pace, implementing hands-on manipulatives and child-size tools and furniture.  However, the draw of Waldorf is the belief in the magic of innocence, a concept that is fairly absent from the Montessori method. 
 
The brilliant Rudolf Steiner developed Waldorf Schooling as a wholistic system to prioritize protecting the innocence and magic of childhood.  Creative play is the cornerstone of the early Waldorf experience, and Steiner developed a curriculum that corresponds to appropriate age and developmental levels for various subjects.  Just because the children are able to learn a subject does not mean that they are ready for it.  He believed there are optimal developmental points that correspond best to different subjects, and I respect that opinion and the wisdom of his curriculum choices to a certain degree.  Therefore, I very much enjoy looking at the Waldorf curriculum and seeing how I can supplement my children's experiences and education with a 'whiff of Waldorf'.
 
Since Fiona and Alex are 2nd and 5th grades, respectively, I have lots of room to fudge with which activities I pull out of that curriculum, especially since I also view any activities younger than 2nd grade as still fair game, if my kids haven't already mastered or been exposed to those subjects. 
 
The Greek myths were a 5th grade level subject.  Perhaps they were a bit advanced for Fiona, but she has enjoyed them thoroughly, nonetheless, and Alex is trying to create car trips for us simply so we can listen to more of the Greek mythology-based Percy Jackson stories!
 
I was comforted to see that both recorder and a string instrument are recommended for third graders, thus validating the choice to let Fiona start recorder.  I am SO pleased that we did so, as she has been so tickled about the recorder that she totes it around with her and is now Alex's recorder instructor!  Yes, he is happily practicing with her and they play a perfectly fine rendition of Hot Cross Buns.  It's cute, though we had a tragic moment when she dropped her recorder from the upper floor of the mall only to smash 20 feet below!  The tears were awful, but the happy part for me was that I had no compunction about replacing the inexpensive instrument.  If her violin had dropped and smashed, it would be a different tune I'm singing!
 
The Waldorf environment is based on simplicity and nature.  Plastics and synthetics have little to do with an appropriate Waldorf environment.  Toys and furniture are wooden; clothes are cotton, wool, linen and silk; and lunches arrive in wicker baskets.  Even the school learning environment is a bit of a throw-back, as Steiner believed in employing rote learning to a significant degree...remember the old days of children reciting their multiplication tables?  I've visited a Waldorf school (in Seattle, WA), and I felt transported into a past day and age, reminiscent of a Little House on the Prairie schoolroom, combined with a storybook/fairytale magic, as they implemented poems and stories throughout the day.
 
You may recall a year or so ago when I tried to start reading Laura Ingalls Wilder's collection of Little House books to my kids, hoping to take them likewise to a more innocent, wholesome time and place.  Instead, we were assaulted with graphic animal death and dismemberment!  Well, that was book one, Little House in the Big Woods, and we only got a few chapters into it before I gave up and started another, less disturbing story (almost anything!)...
Meantime, though, in my perusings of Waldorf curriculum, I found a specific recommendation for the book Farmer Boy for 3rd grade Waldorf children.  Farmer Boy is perhaps the 3rd or 4th book in the series, but it seems to be a stand-alone as far as subject matter goes, since Laura is relating the story of the childhood of her husband, Almonzo. 
I'm not without misgivings, but so far the book has been exactly what I'd hoped for when I originally purchased the collection.  I won't be surprised if she gives way to chapter after chapter on the delightful slaughter of the farm animals, but so far it has truly been just lovely and wholesome.  She paints a vivid picture of the life of ordinary, white American children in the second half of the nineteenth century.  Almonzo came from a good home with good parents, but we are all aghast at some of the common elements of life that were accepted back them.  Corporal punishment and the 'children should be seen and not heard' maxim are our big reactionary points so far, but I believe it's helpful for our kids to gain some perspective by being aware of those elements of life.  Despite the difficulty of those elements, Almonzo has some very enviable perks in life...the structured, solid family; the connection with farm animals and his food; innocent pleasures such as sledding and snowball fights with brothers and sisters; and a certain degree of duty and independence, even at the age of 6 or 7. 
 
I am pleased with this book, thus far, which prompted me to scan the Waldorf curriculum to help create future plans and ideas for activities and readings with the children.
 
One important element that I've 'neglected' is that of handcrafts such as knitting and crocheting.  These are critical in developing fine motor skills and provide a valuable service in allowing children to create a substantial, serviceable item.  Unfortunately, I'm not a handy sort of person with those things, though I have at times both knitted and crocheted, without great success.  I found the process a bit tedious, honestly, so I wouldn't be the best teacher!  In contrast, I'm very enthusiastic about our stories and music, which influences the kids to be that way as well.  Maybe at some point, though, we'll do a knitting or crocheting project together...
 
All in all, though, I've kept in mind the Waldorf curriculum at least a bit over the years.  Our home is increasingly embracing plastics and modernities, but I view our wholistic attempts as creating balance in our lives.
 
Our chicks are actually part of that attempt!  They are finally starting to look like real chickens, which is too adorable!  How fun to see them running all over the yard and peeping!   They spent their first night outside in the coop yesterday, and all went pretty well, it seems...
 
While discussing some basic cow anatomy facts yesterday while reading Farmer Boy, I mentioned that I really needed to get the children to spend some time on a real farm, with real farm animals.  They piped up, "we spend time with chickens!" and I felt a vibe of happy satisfaction at the truth of this... that I am managing to provide them with a 'whiff' of an innocent, magical connection to nature.
 
Did I say "I"?  Yes, I may prompt it, but Michael is so very supportive.  He builds the chicken coop and garden boxes, fixes the sewing machine, and does whatever he can to support us physically, financially and emotionally.  While he's less of a Waldorf and Montessori adherent than even me, he is the backbone of our success! 

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Avoidance

Funny the things we'll do to avoid feeling guilty.  Classic 'cut off your nose to spite your face' behavior, really!  The child who avoids her parents comes to mind...
 
Anyhow, I just got off the phone with a very sweet woman from my church.  She was calling with concern because we haven't attended for a couple of months.  I realized that the truth was that I was avoiding going to the church because I felt pressured.  I could totally see their point and how they wanted help with their programs and projects, but I didn't like feeling guilty!  Part of me thought, "well, why don't I just do it?  I could, I have time enough," but the part that won is the part that rebelled.  I did not want to feel guilty, so I stopped attending. 
Anyhow, it's funny how we can make such a big decision based on such a small thing.  I could easily have volunteered some time, and I may even have enjoyed it.  I simply didn't want to feel guilty, so I stopped going.  I didn't want to feel pressured into anything.
Strangely, though, I baffle even myself...  I'm not sure how the other folks are supposed to do all the work without complaining.  I know they didn't intend to drive us away with their demands for help (new 'requirement').  I completely understand the unfortunate situation they are in and how everyone working together in concert can lighten their load. 
Anyhow, it does give me a new perspective, though.  We don't like being told what we 'should' do and being made to feel guilty about it, even if we understand why and sort of inherently agree with the logic.

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My Remarkable Singer Sewing Machine

Enchanted, I am, by the magic that my newly operational Singer 404 sewing machine wields.

We inherited this early 1960's sewing machine (in its own sewing table) about 5 years ago from Michael's Nana, but we've only used it as a study desk since then, as we never found the power cord for it. Michael had looked into it some time back, and so, when I mentioned to him a couple of days ago that I'd like a functional sewing machine for Christmas, he followed up with a local Singer sewing machine specialist--who has been at it for about 50 years! The semi-retired specialist instantly supplied the power cord and told Michael the secret to plugging it in (upside down and jiggle!). So, for $15 and no extra space requirements, I now have a functional and fabulous old sewing machine! It's a heavy-duty, no-frills machine--a workhorse with just the basic straight stitch.

Michael's mother, who we affectionately call 'Grammy', came by and gave us some basic instruction on how to thread it and engage the bobbin. After she left, I hemmed up several school slacks for Alex. As old as this technology is, and as 'antique' as the machine is, I am still reveling in how remarkable it is. I have been hemming clothes by hand for years, and it takes forever. The machine makes such straight, even little stitches, and I hemmed at least 5 pairs of slacks and shorts in hardly any time. Amazing! That would have taken hours for much messier hand-stitching!

At one point, however, the machine locked up. Michael opened up the machine to oil it and otherwise attempt to get it to work. He was intrigued by all the gears that work in concert to produce the sewing action.

It reminds me of how delighted I became with our bicycles, at one point. I still find it miraculous that sheer cleverness can help to transport us so much further with NO extra energy applied. No gas, no extra labor before or after. By simply reducing friction and putting in levers and gears, we can travel much greater distances with no extra work. Fantastic!

I feel a similar way about the sewing machine, though of course it does use electricity. The clever arrangement of gears makes sewing so much more efficient.

It's my new toy!

Silk Disappointment

I finally did it...I sent the Silk soymilk company a letter of complaint via their website.

One day early this past summer, I had been rather tickled while with my kids at the grocery store, as I spotted Silk for $2.99 again. It was that price a couple of years ago, but the price had risen modestly to $3.19 or so in the past year or two. I was pleased, and I told the kids that perhaps the reduced transportation costs were finally getting back to the consumer (you remember how all the food costs escalated dramatically with the high gas prices but never really came back down?). Anyhow, since I was with them, I bought the plain soymilk, and I let them pick up some chocolate soymilk AND very vanilla soymilk. I rarely, if ever, get both treats, but, as I said, I was pleased with the reduced price. I bought at least 4 or 5 cartons that day.

Over the years I've been a big soymilk fan, and Silk had impressed me by appealing to the masses with an ORGANIC, tasty product. They even touted their ethical support of green energy in their business. Silk became widely available and more cost-effective than other soymilks. Yay! I've recommended it to many friends and acquaintances.

On that fateful day, I was praising the Silk product to the kids and mentioned that it was organic. Hmm...well, I'm sure it is, though it says 'natural' here where I thought it said 'organic'. No...the label doesn't mention organic either...

The company had retained EXACTLY the same packaging, excluding the substitution of the word Natural for Organic, and essentially the same price for an inferior product! I felt betrayed. Consumer loyalty ruined.

How many other folks were tricked like that? I always check out new products, but you like to assume that the products you know are still as they were.

I am pleased to report that I have found a couple of other brands that work really well for us. The Nature's Place brand is available at Food Lion and is equal to Silk plus being organic for a fabulous $2.99! Kroger has its Private Selections Organic Soymilk, which I've caught for $2.29 on sale many times recently, but it's still only $2.79 at it's regular price. The kids didn't like the Kroger brand as much at first, but I think the formula has improved, as our last couple of cartons didn't have the issue with coagulated tiny bits.

After finding these alternatives, I feel a certain satisfaction at following through and letting the company know my disappointment. Silk succumbed to the big business lack of ethics. Apparently, they were bought out by Dean Foods just before this happened, so there was a change in ownership and thus a change in ethics. How sad that happens so often to the few tremendously successful and ethical small businesses, who build a consumer base largely on the combination of solid product and ethical production. So sad for us who have customer loyalty to those companies and don't get the memo about change in ownership. Everything LOOKS the same on the package, has the same name, etc., and we conscientiously choose the 'same' product based on incorrect beliefs. What a shame...

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Extracurricular Activities Unlimited!

Wow, the kids had their first full week of school (after two 4-day weeks) and are doing great! They are both chipper and even-tempered. I'm truly amazed.

Alex has had difficulty adjusting nearly every year in the fall, but he's taken to his new teacher and classmates this year without a glitch. Not a single issue so far (knock on wood). It's very encouraging. He's also really excited about starting soccer this fall, which is a first for him, though he's been asking for years. Without any inducements, he's been going outside to practice at home on days that he doesn't have team practice.

Fiona has a packed schedule, but she's amazingly enthusiastic and willing to work. On Thursday, even I was dismayed, as she had ballet before school and violin class and taekwondo after school. Three activities on one day! Yikes! Then, we came home and she practiced piano and did her reading for school. Wow. I hover between worry about overtaxing her and elation in giving her the opportunities I wanted as a girl and seeing her explore and excel in them.

I received a permission slip in her bookbag asking if she could be in a recorder class during the school day. I threw out the form at first, thinking, "No way, she's already playing piano and violin...she has enough to do...this could conflict with the Gifted class schedule..." After a bit, though, I started feeling guilty and remembered how excited I had been to play the recorder in third grade. I LOVED it, and I sort of think it was my precursor to the flute--similar note fingerings and such. I reasoned that she's not playing a woodwind instrument yet, it's during the school day and therefore shouldn't count as another extracurricular activity, etc. Besides, I'm so impressed that the recorder only costs $2.50 that it seems like we should do it for the sheer economy of the instrument and free instruction! I still remember that my elementary school recorder cost only $3.00 back in the century past, which I was thrilled about then. The fact that the same instrument is even cheaper now simply blows my mind. Anyhow, with a little trepidation, I asked her if she'd like to take the recorder class, and of course she enthusiastically said, "Yes!" Alex cautioned that she might have to go to recorder class during recess, and she shot back, "I don't care!" He just shook his head in disbelief and seemed to be thinking, "it's your own grave you're digging..." So, of course I had to fish out that permission slip...

I am concerned, of course, about the fact that I seem eager to give her every opportunity that I had AND every opportunity that I wanted. She is optimistic and enthusiastic and tries to do her best at everything. Despite the worry, I do love how coordinated things seem to be. Time management is at our best ever right now. The fact that the dance and violin classes are right at her school and immediately juxtaposed to the school day saves an immense amount of time. I think she can, I think she can...

Alex seems to have gotten a grip on the ability to select his choice activities. He says no all the time to choices that I offer him, and I'm often both disappointed and relieved at his clear "I don't think so." He takes his responsibilities seriously and places a premium value on having some down time to play games and just chill out! So long as he's doing well in his current schooling and activities, which are plenty, I'm happy and a bit relieved.

Anyhow, the kids are both doing well for now. They had a long restful summer, and I'll have to just focus on that bedtime and be vigilant for signs of burnout!