Family Meal

It's been a while since I managed a full, nice family meal--with place settings and all.  Anyhow, I was inspired yesterday by seeing that Michelle Obama was giving 'etiquette classes' at the white house, and I originally intended to focus more on etiquette, but it was just SO nice to have flowers on the table (small vase of pansies from out front), multiple small courses, a sit-down meal, placemats, starting our meal together, etc.  Actually, without ever bringing up the word 'etiquette', I feel like it was a lesson that way.  As I put my napkin in my lap, so did the Michael and the kids (we've been over it before).  We all waited to start eating together after our mini-grace (what we say?  Generally a simple, "For every cup and plateful let us be truly grateful.").
Anyhow, it was pretty lovely, and, at the same time, a way to consider what we're eating a little bit more.  The kids approved, and I hope to make these sit-down nice family meals more of a regular thing again. :)  I actually incorporated some left-overs into the meal--which was a nice way to use them up, since my crew will often ignore leftovers until they've gone bad.  So, we had leftover soup and bread for the first course, then leftover black-eye pea burgers (I make in batches and freeze) and a steamed veggie and our own non-dairy, non-gluten mac and cheese.  Scoops of watermelon in little bowls constituted dessert.  It was pretty simple and nice--and welcome to the kids after a long, hectic day, as it was on the table when they arrived home!

Rediscovering Homeopathy

As a naturopath, I was introduced to homeopathy as a system of medicine that is complete unto itself.  I approached it with skepticism, but over time became convinced at its efficacy.  There were entire medical schools devoted to homeopathy in the United States a century ago or so, and I've begun reading one book that consists of homeopathy lectures that are a century old.
Anyhow, as I've been putting together my library, one of the most fun sections for me has been my homeopathy bookshelves.  I actually built a new small shelf to perch on top of that particular bookcase, to help with lining up my remedies above the reference books.  I even used the circular saw :).
I've already dosed Michael, me, and Alex with remedies.  Well, Michael received true remedies for his kidney stone pain--we progressed from one remedy to another, and they're working!!!  Alex and I have begun cell salts, and Michael has ordered a particular, rather uncommon remedy for me.
My cell salt of interest is Kali phos--indicated in all sorts of nerve conditions.  I want to buy the regular 6X cell salt for maintenance usage, but I took a higher potency after reading about how the remedy is specific for folks with nervous breakdowns, degenerative diseases (such as dementia), etc.
The remedy I've ordered is Kali bromata (related, I suppose).  It includes a whole lot of symptoms that match what I went through.  Not a perfect match, necessarily, but I'm hoping it will help.

Sorry I'm not writing this quite up to the level of fascinating narration it deserves.  Homeopathy is an incredible system of medicine that has been virtually lost due to the takeover of pharmaceutical companies, I'm assuming.  And the prescribing complexities and hit-or-miss results, I suppose...but I've seen so many amazing results that I'm pretty sold on it.  And I'm excited at the amazing reference books I have.  What phenomenal resources at my fingertips!
If you're interested at all, I'd encourage you to start with one of the family homeopathy kits or perhaps researching the 6X cell salts.  There are only 12 of them and might be a nice way to introduce them to your family.  I have an amazing handout that I'd saved and now have (whew!) placed on my bookshelf so's I can find it!  There might be good online recommendations.  Schuessler's cell salts is what they're called.
We have family kits of 30-ish 6X remedies from Standard Homeopathic.  Arnica for injury, Hypericum more specifically for smashed fingers and toes, etc.  Nice to have around.  :)  6X is still a nice dose for this kind of basic prescribing.  The higher doses are for more constitutional remedies.

Last post re: style, mamas setting example continued...

After yesterday's post about Fiona's healthy, savvy style, I have to relate today's outfit.  Flashback to the '80's!  Oh my goodness...I came to pick her up from school and found that she had the big earrings, the neon and mesh top layered over her t-shirt, and her hair in a clip not too far removed from a banana clip!  So funny...  I'm sheepishly on here because I felt like I might have left you with the impression that she's got sophisticated style!  I think she does, when she lets me dress her!  But see what happens when she's given free rein?  Hah.  But I think her friends liked it more than I did :).
Just wanted to share.  Too bad our kids don't completely share our tastes, right?  But there was nothing wrong with it, just, well, you know...

Oh, and I just wanted to re-emphasize that I'm guilty of virtually all the 'crimes' I related in the last post.  I do wear makeup fairly often--a little--and I probably have worn high heels a couple times in the past year and have some heel on many pairs of shoes that I wear maybe weekly or so.  And I don't even feel strongly enough about it to feel apologetic about it--I only wanted to clarify that I not only relate, but I do the exact things I critiqued.  I even have underwire in my drawer...though that's been IN the drawer for ages.  Sigh...just comin' clean, I s'pose.  Hmm...I guess it's just that I like girly stuff, and I'm not of the extreme, um, gosh--what's the term?  The awful 'feminist-Nazi' term comes to mind, but I HATE that term, because I'm pretty darn feminist in theory, at least.
Anyhow, I think what I'm trying to say is that those militant mamas don't really need to think about this stuff quite as much, because they're not going to slip into high heels and makeup and all that jazz.  It's the regular moms like me who really need to think about what we're doing, before we unwittingly 'sell' this idea of femininity to our daughters, too.  Hmm, maybe it's like Halloween, y'know?  We can dress up--heels, makeup, underwire, whatever--for a big event.  Kind of like I'll put makeup on Fiona for a show...  But on a daily basis it's more than just kinda silly--it's a bad example.  We should treat ourselves the way we want our children to treat themselves.  We just need to be a little bit careful with that sort of thing.  That's all.

Let's Use our Hearts AND our Brains

Hi!  I'm back for a grumpy little post today.  I read a blog yesterday that sorta got on my nerves--and I feel like a jerk for that, a bit.  So I'm here to sort it all out.

First, let's review the blog.  It was a cute sort of reminder to be accepting and nonjudgmental.  I'm game for that, I think, so that shouldn't really bother me, right?  I think judgment is actually a lot of the problem in today's world--especially when it's judgment over things that don't matter.  And there is the crux of my irritability.

Problem is, who's to say what matters?  Apparently we all think that the things we're judgmental about are what matter.  So, where's the standard? 

I suppose it comes down to the, "Does it hurt anyone?" bit.  That can be a challenge, even, to figure out, because some things hurt others when it doesn't SEEM to matter.  Maybe your father is hurt if you wear slacks to church--he thinks it's inappropriate (and generally doesn't think further than that...).  Easy to chalk it up to 'his problem', but really--if you know it bothers him, even if he's 'wrong', then why not just TRY to get along?  Obviously, if you feel strongly, then you wear the damn slacks.  But if it doesn't matter one way or another to you, then wear the skirt and don't upset poor Daddy.

What a funny example.  I couldn't think of one.  I think the reason that came to mind is that my father used to feel so strongly about it all, yet last Sunday at his church, he wore JEANS--and gave the sermon!!!  I was shocked.  Not upset, and I certainly didn't say anything, but it blows my mind, when he used to be so militant and judgmental about it all.  WHO has taken over my Dad's body?  Hmm?

Okay, backing up...  where were we?  Oh yes, the blog in question was happily approving of anything!  Whatever floats your boat--just do it!  I smile and feel sympathetic to that point of view a little bit, but there's a very duty-bound bit of me that says, "Wait a minute.  We are setting an example to our children.  We are teaching them what matters.  Some things DO matter.  And if we just thoughtlessly and selfishly live our lives, without consideration and effort to do what's right, then what are we modeling?  What are we teaching?"  One example that struck me was something along the lines of, 'if you want to wear full makeup and high heels to the apple orchard field trip, more power to you!'.  Of course, again, this doesn't fall into the 'high alert' category for me.  I'd probably smile and think the mom looked cute--but I wouldn't want my daughter to model the silly, even damaging, footwear.  

And this is something that does require some thought.  I saw a pair of shoes the other day, while I was shopping at Goodwill [I was!  And it was awesome. :)  Totally trying to get over my uppity-ness and support a very beneficial business, in so many ways], and they were so cute I pulled them on.  Totally ridiculous black heels, with thicker block heels and a secure strap around the ankle.  "I think I can handle these!" I thought happily, after admiring them on my feet.  

I showed Michael and he scowled, "That's a disaster waiting to happen.  Injuries--"

I showed them to Alex, and he looked very skeptical.  "I hate to say this, Mom, but those look like hooker's shoes."

My fellows aren't used to seeing me in those kinds of shoes, to say the least!

I put them back.  My thought?  The biggest one?  I didn't want to set a bad example for Fiona.  I don't want her tripping and walking in shoes that cripple more than help!!!  No matter how *awesome* they look!  

Still, I was tempted, and I totally understand the Mom that can't help herself and wears them--though I also wish she wouldn't--because the more awesome she looks in them, the worse the example she's setting for my daughter, too.  So I can't just smile blithely and think, "More power to you, sister!"  I do cringe a little.

But where it matters even more is the author's example of the mom who decides to get take-out every single night so she has more time on her hands.  Again, guilty as charged--to a degree.  I get take-out more often than I'd like, but most certainly NOT every day.  Why not?  Again, those pesky values.  Am I to wink at the mom feeding her kids GMO-laden, pesticide-heavy, factory-farm-raised foods?  Her 'free choice' impacts her kids' health, the treatment of the animals and animal products she is paying for, the planet's health, MY health?  Should I really 'wink' at that?  I mean, I'm all for being understanding of the hectic, unmanageable pace of life.  And I know sometimes a drive-thru meal is all we can manage.  And I certainly don't want someone glaring at me when I choose to do so.  At the same time, though, I can't in good consciousness think that is a 'valid' choice for a mom on a daily basis, unless she really is under a lot of duress.  Yes, I'm all for compassion--but compassion is not a conspiratorial wink, now, is it?  (Oh alright, maybe sometimes that's exactly what it is!)

You know, my kids put A LOT of thought into ethics and practicality now, and I'd like to think that's because we've modeled it for them.  Within a day or two of my putting back the oh-so-snazzy black pumps, my daughter made a comment about how important good shoes are to her feet.  See the relief I felt that I hadn't bought those shoes and gotten her excited about heels?  

Fiona went to school yesterday with a gorgeous French braid, a pair of little earrings, a snazzy scarf tied around her throat, a navy skort and sweater with little 'diamond' buttons, and some cute black tennis shoes and ankle socks.  Nothing to impair her health or function--no makeup (yet, though I'm sure that'll come), no constrictive clothing.  Even her bra isn't constricting.  Yes, for social reasons we're bending to that custom, though her 'need' for it is laughable at this point!  (And that is a whole 'nother long rant--have y'all SEEN the breast cancer rates?)  And my happy, healthy daughter is so beautiful that my breath catches and I can't stop admiring her.  Who the hell needs silly shoes and underwire and face paint?  Not that brilliant, radiant child!  Nor most of our gorgeous teens.

The Taoists know the wisdom of 'going with the flow', but I'd argue that being in the center of that stream is for one's own comfort.  And it is.  A wise woman learns to balance the flow--for your own happiness you don't want to take on every meaningful battle!  Or if you do, my humblest, "More power to you!", though I would urge you to consider the impact on your family, on your children, as you do so.  The most effective ethical folks are those who manage to make their lives enjoyable and practical and sustainable.

So, again, I have compassion and understanding for those who indulge in take-out and high heels and other such.  And I have compassion for myself, too.  Ideally, I would volunteer at school.  Ideally, I'd do a lot that I'm not up to doing.  Those are real restrictions that I have.  After a nervous breakdown and mental illness, I know that I simply can't be the 'perfect' mom that I would like to be.  We all have our limitations, and, even for the most incredibly energetic and thoughtful mom, it's impossible to be 'perfect'.  Our society simply isn't set up that way.  

So, let us be compassionate in judging others--as we don't know what they are dealing with--but let us do our best to be ethical in our choices and not unwittingly, thoughtlessly SUPPORT poor choices and bad examples to our children.  And to us.  Compassion and kindness always; unconditional approval--not so much.  Let's use both our hearts AND our brains, shall we?