Chickens and More Environmentalist Chat

Once again, we've decided to go for the home-grown egg thing.  I'd gotten down about the demise of so many of our pets, but things have been stable for a little while and I'm willing to risk it again.  I just love chickens and gathering our own eggs.  I really think our chicken pets are fairly happy.  They're so busy out there, scratching around and all, so we are going to give it another whirl--this time with Wellsummers (trying once again--they're SO pretty!), Speckled Sussex, and Golden Campines.  I'm sure I'll let you know how that goes.  I love the idea of producing some of our food right here, and, while we get a few eggs from our two hens, it's not enough to supply our egg demand.  Our egg demand, as well, is far lower than our potential consumption, as we adore boiled eggs and egg salad and deviled eggs and all such.  Michael makes a damn fine jelly roll, too, which takes several eggs a pop.  Frittatas, latkes, muffins, the list goes on...  And baby chicks are SO adorable.  

The drawback?  The noise.  Hope there's no problem with that.  Also, again, their sad, really devastating demises.  I've made Michael and Fiona promise to try not to involve me when any more die (as in, elaborate funeral services and all).  It makes me want never to get anymore :(.  So, if I ignore it as best I can, maybe I can muddle through where it's all worth it.

Michael's already got a name for a Golden Campine.  She'll be Ella.  As in Ella Campine.  As in elecampane, an herb!  So fun.  I've named a Speckled Sussex Suzy.  Suzy Sussex.  Cute, hmm?  And Suzy sounds quite British, like the Sussex chickens are!  

The Welsummers are of Dutch origin, and the Campines are Belgian, so we'll think about that in the naming process, too.

Anyhow, hopefully our coop is more secure now, and we'll enjoy our chickens longer this go-round.  Part of the draw, too, is that we do have this coop and already take care of our two hens.  It won't be that much more work for a few more.  Wish us luck!  

Oh, this whole Dutch thing is quite interesting to me here lately.  There's a Dutch art exhibit from The Hague coming to Atlanta, and I'm excited to see it.  In part, that's because of so many of my new series people having resided for prolonged periods in The Hague (and some of the art is from that era).  To be truthful, I'd never given the Dutch a second thought--they were hazily grouped with the Germans, in my mind--hence Deutchland, you know.  Anyhow, the Welsummers are from there, too, so all things Dutch are somewhat of interest to me right now, I suppose.

Okay, environmentalism...what else?  I was asking Michael today what minor, easy things we might tackle to improve our impact on the environment.  We installed a fan in our attic here last summer, and I think that helped, so we're thinking of doing likewise in my grandparents' old home in SC.  

Also, we fished around in drawers and the garage and came up with a bike lock and key--so that Fiona and I can bike to the pool this summer.  I've been enjoying short bike rides over to the grocery store already, and I've got a little alcove, as I think of it, in the back where I park my bike without locking it (not a problem so far), but I couldn't see biking to the pool and leaving it unattended there.  So, anyhow, I'm excited about that little thing.  We'll see how it goes.  It won't make that big of an impact, but I'll feel a little better about saving a tiny bit of gas.  Fiona and I both have lovely Trek bikes, with shocks and all :).  We bought her a grown-up sized bike for her 10th birthday last year.  It's adjustable, so hopefully it lasts her forever.

So funny--I'm hoping to take a trip to Atlanta and Washington, D.C., perhaps, and, of course, 3 hours away to our SC home many times... and I'm talking about saving gas for a trip less than one mile away.  Sigh.  Every little bit counts, though, I suppose.  And it's not like we'd NOT take those trips if I didn't save these small ones.    

So, more chickens and more bicycling in lieu of car trips.  I really do my best to minimize car trips, honestly.  But I suppose I don't always prioritize that.  We don't go to the closest church, we don't attend the closest schools...  Speaking of which, Alex 'graduates' from Ellis Montessori next week.  He's been there TEN whole years--longer than I attended any school, ever.  Pretty cool.  

Alex is looking for a summer job now, as he wants to buy a used car next year, perhaps.  Sigh.  Thing is that we don't get bussing to his high school, so it actually might be a good idea.  And it's impossible to walk there or bike there, really, given the traffic, so a car it is--or, at least, somebody's car (as in poor Michael's!).  

You know, I got on here today because I'd asked Michael that about how we could impact our environment a little more positively, and I was hoping more thoughts would come to me, but sometimes it's good just to confirm those steps we've taken--which I'm continually doing on here, aren't I?  I suppose it's also what prompted me to make the new chicken order today.  Michael came home with store-bought eggs, and the urge just took hold of me.  I hate to think of chickens in such cramped quarters (even cage-less chickens are usually in crowded conditions).  So, hopefully, hopefully, hopefully this works out with the new, very quiet chickens, right?  Hmm, do I associate humane treatment of animals with the environment?  Apparently so.  But also, most home-grown food has no fuel costs associated--or minimal.  Except that these chicks are being shipped Express!  I hope they make it and keep us in supply of eggs interminably!

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.  I love that little saying, even though it doesn't address fuel costs.  Maybe I should explore those topics a little more here.  

Reduce.  I could and should REDUCE my consumption of food!  Yep, that's an obvious one, I suppose.  I sometimes have thought that, when I've gotten used to eating a more modest portion size, about how outrageous the quantity is of folks eating around me.  Jane Goodall may take it to the extreme, but that's one of the main points that she makes in a book that she wrote a while back, Harvest for Hope.  Perhaps being in Africa, where many people are starving, has made her more aware of this issue.  Just think, I'm sure I could probably survive on half of what I consume--meaning half the money for the goods, half the resources there.  And groceries ARE a lot of what we consume and buy regularly.  Besides, since I'm not so ill anymore, I've been putting back on a few pounds.  It would be good for my health, as well as the environment, if I were to REDUCE my consumption of food a bit more.  And that's something I can start right away, actually.  Hah.  Got one!  I don't usually think of calorie restriction as environmentally-motivated, but Goodall does and I think she might be right, so long as she's consuming enough calories for good health (which I do wonder about, for her!).

I have an argument to make on the general REDUCE topic, though.  I've noticed that some people take it to the extreme in that they liberate themselves of many possessions.  And, in the articles, even when it's based on the environment, they point out that they just BUY whatever they need.  How wasteful, isn't it?  When if they held on to things a bit more, they wouldn't have to buy NEW things nearly so often, right?  I guess I'm just saying that if they hadn't reduced so much, they could have recycled a bit more--which is better than buying new.  Just sayin'.  I know it's modern and chic to be minimalist, but so often I'm grateful that we have so much.  Sometimes those decisions were unwise--as when I kept a lot of my school textbooks, which no longer have any value to anyone.  But some of those decisions have been very helpful.  I think it's better to be balanced with reduction, because oftentimes we can re-use things as opposed to buying them again and again.  I don't like our 'disposable society' mindset.

Re-use.  Okay, well I guess I already got into that topic.  How else might I re-use here?  The danger that I've seen here is that folks come up with pretty darn stupid ideas--and if the end product isn't something you wanted or needed, then I'd say the whole re-use idea just caused you to spin your wheels, honestly.  Art from trash?  Hmm...I rarely find it appealing.  And did I need that art?  No.  So, I guess I don't much like disposable things, but I'm not going to cripple myself with trying to re-use something that I don't need.  But I do hope to value and retain useful items that I can use again and again.  My car is a 1999 model, and I'm perfectly happy keeping it so long as it runs well.  (Thank goodness for a mechanically-minded hubby!)  So, perhaps REPAIR and Maintenance go in this area.  Hmm...somehow, I'm going to throw housekeeping in this section, because I think that cleaning and straightening go a long ways towards keeping us happy with what we have.  Also, it helps keep our things organized so that we're aware of what we have and can find things so that we don't buy them again!  Whew...that's a doozy for me there!  But I've started a new library audiobook that should help keep me company next week while I'm cleaning.  How does writing this help things?  Well, perhaps I'll work a little harder on the organization part, so that I can find things.  You know what's nice about the organization process?  So often you run across things that you haven't thought about for a while, and since we've chosen all our things, it's a little like shopping at a pretty awesome store!

Recycle.  What can I do more here?  We already pay to have our recycled goods picked up.  So that obvious one is taken care of.  Maybe this is part of the 'balance' equation.  I pointed out above how good it is to keep things, but it's also good to be able to organize by clearing out the old, you know?  Perhaps I should make a point of putting together a single box of clothes from my closet for goodwill.  Maybe someone else can get some use from them, you know?  That is so very hard for me, that 'getting rid of things'.  Hmm, and I wonder if some of my useless old outdated books can be recycled, as in the recycle bin?  Still confused after a web search... but I did find all sorts of ridiculous things to do with old books!  As I was saying...(about the trash art).

On the recycle topic, though, we can certainly buy recycled and keep making a point to do so, as often as possible.  We already do that, when practical, so I suspect that the main thing I need to remind myself of now is to REDUCE my consumption.  I suspect part of how I do that, though, is to buy recycled goods for fun (that keeps down the urges for buying NEW items).  I'm currently all ga-ga over my Ralph Lauren purse (for $16 at consignment!).  

Okay, like so many things, I'm repeating myself.  But most things ethical involve repeating yourself or putting a new 'spin' on it--hey, we're recycling ideas! :)

Vivian

My miniscule readership of Homespun thus far has already produced the suggestion of a follow-up book on 'Vivian's adventures', to quote.  I don't think she'd gotten to the epilogue yet.

Anyhow, I find that humorous because I once had a dream that Vivian's death was faked, and that instead she ran off on an adventure in which she jumped out of a plane near an island with indigenous peoples in South America, I believe...  I may have that mixed up now, but, anyhow, I found this crew of young filmmakers who were making a movie about her long, full life.  Oh, her name wasn't Vivian in my dream--it was the real name of my great-aunt, or possibly gg-aunt, as the case may be!  And that name was Geraldine, Gurleen for short.  I know virtually nothing about the woman, aside from a couple of dates and a few anecdotes.  She's almost completely fictional and very fun, isn't she? :)

The Silk Trilogy is COMPLETE!!! Contemplating three more books...and even others!

Homespun is officially available for your e-book reading enjoyment!  It's on Amazon and should be on Barnes & Noble's website this week.  To be honest, technical glitches and worries cloud my happiness here just a tad, but they're pretty small, so I'll try to let go and just celebrate here for a moment.  It's a big deal--what I had in mind from the beginning of Silk.  Years later, the trilogy is complete, and that's a BIG deal, no?  

Being human as I am, I have that propensity to jump ahead, look forward, plan, and forget to just bask in the moment at times.  I've begun three other books over the past two years, at least two of which I hope to get back to, even though I'm still near the beginning in all of them.  So, of course, now that I've uploaded my book--and, actually, Michael helped me send off some query letters to publishers last week (nerve-wracking!)--I, with my Protestant work ethic, am sitting here ready to pounce back on one of those other books--after staying up late trying to post Homespun on Barnes & Noble.  Oh, I shouldn't blame a work ethic.  Actually, I'm afraid there's a little fear there, too.  I feel happy when I'm engaged in a book--it occupies my mind, taking me out of day-to-day worries, and, specifically, worries about my mental illness (which, knock-on-wood, has been 'all better' just recently).  

Oh, back to the query letters.  I actually did send four last year, but I received NO reply.  Except for one letter saying that they only work with agents and solicited authors.  So Michael helped me send off 41 letters. Forty-one!!!  He's so cool.  Here I selected the four so carefully, with no response, whereas Michael wasn't selective--he was like, "Let's plow through this thing."  And we did!  So we'll see if I get any response.  I think I'm much less attached and sensitive about it now, so whatever happens is okay.  I realize how inundated those publishing companies are--and I've read about Pulitzer-prize-winning manuscripts being turned down with test submissions, repeatedly.  It's a crap shoot--even if your work is good.  So, I'm crossing my fingers, but I wouldn't bet on it.

Are you curious about my three books?  Okay, I'll tell you :).  

First is one about Sophia Dorothea, the wife of King George I.  Hers is a pretty fascinating and relatively unknown tale with LOTS of romance.  Yep, right up there with Caroline :).  I wrote maybe a third of the required word count (for a novel) before being disrupted with some school break or other.  I'd like to finish it, and I'll admit that some of my urging comes from a dream I had.  In my dream, I found an old LP record from 1726 (yes, I know records weren't around then).  I was excited and cleaned the dust from it before putting it on to play.  When I woke up, I wondered about the year 1726, and I realized, after looking it up, that it was the year that Sophia Dorothea died!  I didn't think I had those dates securely in my head, but it must have been there somewhere.  So, yeah, there's the analogy of her story ending with her death and then ME finding it and playing it again, after years of gathering dust.  So cool.  And my dream makes me feel a little duty-bound about it, actually.  Again,  like The Silk Trilogy, this is a story about a supposed ancestress (who really can be sure, right?).  I fancy that I've somehow inherited their stories, deep down in my DNA somewhere--like a holographic intuition.  That notion, true or not, really does fuel my writing.

Second is my kids' book centered on Elizabeth, daughter of King James I of England, when she's just a girl at the time of the Gunpowder Plot (celebrated on Guy Fawkes' day).  The conspirators wanted to put HER on the throne, actually, and I figured it would be cool to tell the story from the child's perspective.  A big component of this story will be the issue about Catholicism versus Protestantism.  Also, Henry, Elizabeth's older brother, will be featured in this story.  I've written maybe three chapters so far, only, but I promised Fiona this would be my next book ages ago, before my illness really took over.  Again, Elizabeth and her parents are supposed ancestors--and, actually, I tend to adopt childless aunts and uncles into my tree, as they seem a little lost.  Henry never had children, so I appropriate him as 'mine', too :).

My third book?  I've only just barely begun, but I might piece it together over the summer, since it'll take less focused creativity than the other books.  The title might clue you in to it and, actually, tell you a little of what I dealt with in my illness.  It just came to me one day, and I really think I might write it.  It's called Possessed By Demons:  Memoirs of a Schizophrenic.  Powerful stuff, hmm?  Fact is, being the writer that I am, I wrote probably hundreds of letters to 'them'--'them' being a product of my paranoia, it seems.  So, I might sift through some of these letters and put together the most poignant.  Also, I hope and pray that the newly implemented gluten-free diet is key to my recovery--and that the book could raise awareness of that therapy.  I have yet, actually, to discontinue my antipsychotic medication, so we'll see, but the psychoses did not fully disappear until I started the gluten-free diet.  My psychiatrist plans to try to d/c the antipsychotic this summer, so that will influence what goes into the book.  I'm hoping and wishing that the gluten-free diet is key--as that will, in fact, give purpose to my illness, if it turns out to be important.  Give meaning to all that suffering.  You know?  If I can help a multitude of others by raising awareness and be okay myself afterwards?  Also, I wouldn't mind having the magic bullet for my own illness not be a pharmaceutical, though I'm grateful for whatever remedy there might be.  If it is the pharmaceutical, then I'll say so in the book.  It doesn't rule out writing the book.  Interestingly, a lot of schizophrenics simply aren't able to write.  The have something called 'Word Salad' that makes them jump from topic to topic rather incoherently.  It has to do with making a lot of loose associations, something I'm certainly inclined to do.  I sometimes jump topics, but so far I'm still fairly coherent, I believe :).  So, I think this might be an unfilled niche for my writing.  About 1% of folks in our society are schizophrenic, and I've seen the figure that up to 50% of homeless people are.  It affects a LOT of folks.

There are so many other books that I'd like to write, most dealing with the monarchy, as they've really captured my imagination.  It might be biased, but so far everything is primarily centered from a female perspective.  After writing Homespun, I realized that I didn't like the stretch required to get into my main character's minds when they were so very different from me.  Caroline was fun to write.  Gaynelle was a little more difficult, but still pretty doable.  Ginny was difficult.  So, from now on I hope to identify with my main characters.  The surrounding cast will give plenty of room for stretching my mind!  

Future books might include a grown-up Elizabeth (same one--goddaughter of Queen Elizabeth I) and her daughter Sophia of Hanover (whom I adore!!!!!  She's left a ton of letters and memoirs, and she's completely delightful.  I identify with her quite a bit, except that she's more of a stinker than I ever was!).  Then there's one perhaps about Caroline of Ansbach, wife of George II, although I'm not nearly as excited about that one.  We'll see...it's just that I've come up with some fascinating stuff from that period, with my own unique take on it, and I need a main character from that period.  Sure, I've considered making up a main character, but I'm rather attached to my genealogy, if you haven't noticed!  Caroline of Ansbach has a great story, and she seems fairly moral and all.  Maybe it would be healthy for me to identify with her! :)  I just haven't read anything truly gripping about her as of yet...but maybe I can write that myself!

A distantly possible story is about Sophie of Mecklenburg-Gustrow, Queen of Denmark.  Big time romance with Tycho Brahe!  And YES, I'm thrilled at the notion that I am descended from the great astronomer.  Only thing about her story is that I just don't know enough about her, about Scandinavian customs.  See, all of these monarchy books vary from my Silk Trilogy because I'm going to use their real names.  The stories wouldn't be nearly as good without their real names--ruining the entire point of that particular historical fiction.  I purposely changed names up in The Silk Trilogy because I was adding and changing things to suit my fictional accounts--so I'm a bit nervous about setting my books in Britain and Germany.  These are already a stretch, but DENMARK?  We'll see.  I do have that notion now, because, again, it's one of those intuitive stories that I discovered was probably true after-the-fact.  I'd read that Sophie knew and supported Tycho Brahe, and then I looked at Anne of Denmark's picture and decided that she resembled Brahe far more than her supposed father.  I was totally caught up in my fantasy, but then I discovered that it's probably true--that Brahe was probably poisoned for the very same relationship by Anne's brother!  That later King of Denmark took apart Brahe's observatory completely, when it had been the finest observatory in Europe!  Talk about a grudge...  Anyhow, Anne was King James of England's wife.  When he looked into marrying the oldest daughter of the King of Denmark of that earlier period, that King refused him but then offered his next daughter, Anne.  I imagine that the King of Denmark was scoffing because the child was a bastard, and he thought he was getting over on King James.  Meanwhile, James allowed him to believe this, as he already knew that she was Brahe's daughter--which was far BETTER, right?  Talk about intelligent genes!  Oh, and right after James married Anne, they traveled to pay a visit to Brahe.  Interesting, hmm?  Love that stuff...but I'm completely out of my element with regards to Denmark.  I don't have Sophie of Mecklenburg-Gustrow's letters or memoirs, and I haven't read histories of the Denmark royalty.  So, this story has potential, but it's WAY on the back-burner.  Oh, the brains weren't just from Brahe, by the way.  That Sophie?  She became the RICHEST woman in all of Europe, due to some savvy trading and money-lending.  Also, in her later years, she spent a lot of time devoted to science while banished to an island, rich and alone.  Romantic and fascinating...but I don't know enough about her world.  I'm already nervous to death about trying to write about British royalty, and I've read a ton on them!

Hmm, that pretty much wraps up all the books on my brain right now.  The one mental health book and the monarchy series.  I need to come up with a name for that series.  Originally, I was calling it the Hanoverian Series, but that doesn't really apply to a lot of them.  It'll be a little odd that I'm writing children's and adult's books in the same period, about the same people...funny, hmm?  Oh well.  There is ONE other book that I may one day publish.  Maybe it'll be a follow-up to my health book.  I've been documenting a lot of my recipes for a time--gluten-free, dairy-free, vegetarian...  We'll see about that.  It's sort of one that isn't there for me to work on, except to just record as good recipes occur.  I do forget to write them down, though, so maybe it's good for me to at least mention the recipes to you, to get my head back into the right space.  I've recently made some fantastic minestrone and a wonderful quinoa salad.

Okay, I was kicking myself for 'wasting' today on this blog, but it is sort of a 'basking in the moment' thing to do, isn't it?  Getting my author head on straight!

Yikes, that brings to mind that I need to get my mommy and family head on, as well.  School will be out soon, and I've let the house go a bit with my frantic editing and re-editing of Homespun.  Over and over again, but FINALLY done!  Yay!  

There's the cleaning to do--and, since the kids are bigger now, it doesn't turn into a disaster quite as quickly, so there's hope.  There's also the summer plans for the kids.  Fiona likes to stay busy 24/7.  She's a sweetheart, but demanding.  And I should enjoy that she wants to spend time with me.  She just likes to DO stuff, which necessarily cuts down on my authoring time when she's out of school.  I can get myself totally stressed out, if I don't go ahead and PLAN on devoting time to her.  

So, our plans include, I think, besides two camps, just the pool, piano, and some music workbooks for her--also the flute, which I promised to teach her this summer.  I'm hoping that she independently spends a good bit of time painting, as she's recently created some adorable acrylic paintings.  Alex needs to complete his terminology workbook begun last summer, and he may get back to the piano (starting today, actually, since his soccer ended last week--his self-imposed exemption to practicing piano).  Will I have the fortitude to implement these routines effectively?  We'll see.  My base has weakened considerably since my illness peaked, as I feel great guilt about it all with regards to the children.  But we'll see.  I'm recuperating :).

House, kids, books...  Busy is good.  At some point I hope to develop some friendships locally again.  I still have my BFF in WA, Michael, and my fantastic kids.  My sis and mom are there for me...but local friends have become mere acquaintances--thanks, in part, to my mental illness, I believe now.  I'm alright for the time being, I suppose, but I'd like to develop some more meaningful local friendships eventually, maybe even soon.

Whew...talk about inundating you with everything at once!  This is me trying to put my head on straight and look around to get my bearings after the whirlwind of exclusive Homespun focus over the past few weeks.  But perhaps I should just close my eyes for a couple of minutes and enjoy the respite after finishing an entire TRILOGY!  Yay :).  I've said it before, but I'll say it again--I've always looked at writing a trilogy in much the same light as earning your black belt in taekwondo.  What tops that?  Once you're in the industry, you can of course see things to top that (like making actual money!), but from the outset, this was my goal.  I did it!  Yay!  :)

Funny how I started off saying I wanted to celebrate and not jump ahead, and then I jumped ahead anyhow. It's just how I do, though.  But at least I gave myself the chance to regain my bearings before delving into the next book, right?  

Okay, a pithy closing statement isn't coming to me, but I really do need to wrap this up.  Hope you are getting ready for a wonderful summer, and that your goals are being achieved and celebrated as well!  

Materialism and guilt

We just got back from a trip to Atlanta.  I'm busily editing my book--there's so much to do!--but I am distracted with thoughts about materialism, about how to balance it with our consciences.

On one hand, I was encouraged by my counselor at one point to think in terms of plenitude -that there is enough for everyone, that we're not doing anyone any favor by denying ourselves.  And to some extent, I think our ingenuity makes this true.  For instance, do you recall dire predictions about running out of coal, gas, and oil?  About how we'd have to do without cars, without electricity?  Well, solar and wind power are proving that this isn't the case--and they're also greener, healthier.  So, since those are pollutants, I'm not for them, but the concern about plenitude was unfounded.

On another level, the concern about pollution guides my concern here as well, for most industries do produce pollution.  The more 'stuff' we buy, the more pollution is generated by these industries.

So, we had a very American, materialistic weekend.  We visited the American Girl store in Atlanta.  First, let's shame...their products are not produced in America!  They're vastly overpriced, but I haven't seen the first sign of anything green about their production.  They hire CHEAP labor and price through the roof!  And the dolls are made with plastic.  What else?  Oh, their latest movie shows a leaning towards selfish brattiness, whereas the older ones were much more about altruism and morals.  AND?  The mothers are much older than I am in these movies, which points again to their demographic--the mom actually had young twins in the last movie, which hints at in vitro, given the actress' age of 50.
Ugh.  When I focus on these points, I feel a bit ashamed of shelling my money out to this corporation, supporting such crass materialism and, obviously, pollution.  However, I'd like to mention the finer points of this corporation now...

One word:  Barbie.  American Girls are very wholesome young GIRLS, not women.  Much more appropriate.  Also, they draw girls in with their stories, many historical, often dealing quite well with girl issues.  Psychologically, it is so much nicer than the Barbie industry.  On the same note, I have to say that the high prices of the American Girl dolls have a positive end--the girls I know have just one or a couple of the dolls.  They're meant to be SPECIAL.  Fiona had tons of Barbies, none of whom received much care or such enjoyment.  So, in a sort of 'scale' comparison, the AG dolls are sort of like your hybrid vehicles.  Yes, still causing pollution, but not as much.  I also think it's healthy for the girls to learn to care for their things.  They all paid for their dolls to have their hair worked on in the doll salon--at a price that could have easily bought a NEW Barbie.  But it got their dolls looking fresh and new, and was SO worth it.  (Hey, at least those workers were American!)
Oh, while I'm mentioning Barbie, I feel a need to mention that their movies are going downhill in the extreme. I loved the early ones, but the latest are not nearly the quality and again are promoting selfish, bratty behavior again.  What's up with them?  I'm quite disappointed.

Okay, so there we go.  This is a constant dialogue in my head--these worries about materialism.  Since inheriting my grandparents' big old home, we're maintaining two very spacious dwellings.  When I'm in SC, I'll walk through the town and notice families living in mobile homes and am struck with a feeling of guilt that we barely stay in our big old house there, which I love.  Meanwhile, those families stay full-time in a cramped little trailer.
Oh well...or not oh well.
I'm afraid I don't have an answer.  Minimally, I should be appreciative and do my best to not be wasteful.  I do shop at consignment shops and the farmer's market.  We're vegetarian and frequent a little veg cafe that uses organic ingredients.  That's actually our Saturday morning 'outing' that leaves me feeling proud and happy, actually--we buy local and organic groceries for the week and eat at that cafe, and it's still pleasant and fun and tasty, without all the guilt.
And we are working to restore that old home in SC.  That's a very green thing to do--and given the number of dilapidated dwellings around there, perhaps I should let go of my guilt about owning it!  And, who knows?  We may just retire there--and we don't have any other retirement plan going on!  Or, I've thought--it might serve for Fiona to set up house there when she's a budding artist.  She could garden and write...  That's possible, though I worry about her social life there.  

Want to know another thought I've been having?  It's the concern that I'll contribute to deforestation if my books are printed.  I'm trying to tell myself that the publishing companies have a quota of books that they ARE going to print, so by making mine one of them, the number of books won't be any different.  Maybe.  Anyhow, I should just hold onto that thought for comfort so long as my books aren't being printed, then I'll need to bury the notion when they are.  And if they ever get HUGE, perhaps I can influence towards greener practices, like JK Rowling did (I believe--her last Harry Potter book was 70% or so recycled materials).

Hmm, perhaps the answer is, again, moderation.  At least, that seems to be the right answer towards my own peace of mind, in general.  The Taoists talk about 'going with the flow', and I've felt the pain of being so very different from the mainstream culture.  It's easier if you cave and enjoy it to a certain extent--and figure out ways to make things better in the process.

Okay, thanks for thinking about this with me.  I need to get back to the editing, but these worries and my conscience were plaguing me.  I can worry myself silly, but I do think that a certain level of conscientiousness can help a lot.