A multitude of special days occur in February. Birthdays we celebrate include those of Michael, my mother, my father, my father-in-law, my nephew, and Nana. Valentine's Day, of course, has become a major holiday in our household, which has gone haywire with the holidays, I do believe.
I'm not quite sure how it happened. It is sweet, of course... Michael's always been quite the sentimental gift-giver, and his son seems to be following his footsteps. Alex buys presents for everyone! Can I say that I don't enjoy all the presents? No... the kids even got me a beautiful ring.
However, to be truthful, it all becomes such a production, for we have to take Alex shopping, and then there's the after-mess for mommy to deal with...but those are fairly small compared to the 'peer pressure' of the occasion. Yes, I have fully succumbed, and I showered multitudinous gifts on Michael and the kids. It's really pretty ridiculous, but oh well... I suppose this year seems a little more elaborate than most, as I saved some of Michael's birthday presents for Valentine's Day, after spending most of his birthday preoccupied with the PianoFest. He was really gracious about that, thank goodness!
Michael got up and cooked breakfast and prepared lunches--to make things easier on me and to do something special for the kids. So, things are all out of kilter and it's more stressful than usual. AND Alex forgets his lunch--usually something I'm more on top of, as I'm the one fixing them. So, I get to spend a good chunk of my day running his lunch to school and then hanging out until they're out of school...and I don't do well with disruptions.
And there are all those little things...like, when Michael cooks, he turns on all the lights. Early in the morning, I like soft lights here and there. I turn on the light over the sink and the one over the stove. I feel affronted by bright lights so early. We have huge windows, so the outside light is really sufficient in and of itself--and isn't so chafing.
Such little things, right? I obviously have NOTHING to complain about. So sweet of Michael to make the breakfast and lunches. Perfectly FINE for him to want to see while he does these things. Totally NORMAL for Alex to forget his lunch (his responsibility, not mine or Michael's--but, so long as it's not a regular thing, I do feel an obligation to bring it to him).
Is this normal? Do we, in our American culture, truly need quite SO many special days? They are a constant stressor and continually distract and interrupt our normal projects and activities. Yes, Michael also has a huge to-do list that he's stressed about not getting to. Not only that, but we have bills and large-ticket items that are waiting for attention, and yet we feel duty-bound to purchase STUFF that we have no room for!
I know that the argument is that we have to find balance. Perhaps we can limit our celebrations a little bit. I think part of what we're doing is ensuring we don't end up on the FLIP side. Wouldn't it be sad to not celebrate or be remembered at all? I think Michael and I are terrified of the thought of each other or the kids feeling neglected or left out. We wouldn't have to worry about it at all if there weren't so many freakin' special days! Ugh! Such a commercialized, exploitative economy!
I'm incredibly lucky, though. I should be immensely grateful that I happen to fall on the side of the spectrum of having too much of a good thing. You know, my favorite holiday in recent memory was a Thanksgiving when Michael and the kids went to Mississippi, and I stayed home alone. Three days of absolute silence were BLISS. I realize that I wouldn't feel that way if I were chronically alone, though, so I need to be grateful and appreciate my lovely presents and my thoughtful hubby's meal preparations.
I guess it's like food, though. How ridiculous is it that we have to struggle NOT to overeat in our country? This sort of abundance is ridiculous, and it makes us unhealthy. Same with clutter. We HIRE folks these days to come and throw away our things, so that we can move around without injuring ourselves. While I resist this on principle--waste not, want not--I do feel like I need to succumb to the disposable stuff philosophy (I'm speaking post-injuries!). I feel awash with too much...too much food, too many holidays, too much stuff, too many lights, too much technology.
What a strange society we are, with our diets and professional organizers and all. Despite all this, we still, and I am completely guilty of this, take advantage of bulk-buying of cheap commodities. My own and my kids' closets are more full than most folks', and we are THE stereotype of what I'm complaining about!
You know, I did try once to buy 'Adopt-a-Seal' and 'Adopt-a-Bear' type presents. I thought, "How nice, it comes with a tiny plush toy and a certificate--this should make a great present." However, when I received the tiny, cheap plush animal and saw the cheap nonpersonalized printout, I knew that I still had presents to buy, as those would never fly.
I am floundering in the Sea of Plenty. I want to be grateful, yet I only see how much more STUFF I have to make room for--and much of it, I BOUGHT. But at least it was great stuff, and my dear little family felt loved and remembered, right? I hope so...
You know, I have to say that there is one peculiar benefit to having such abundance. You'd think it would make you more materialistic, right? But, actually, it seems to me that it becomes more about showing your caring. As a girl, I can remember longing intently for material goods, and they seemed so important. I don't think my kids feel that way, really. I think they see STUFF as STUFF. If the house burnt down, they'd be bummed, but they would care more about their family members and pets than their things, which they'd consider replaceable.
In the film My Fair Lady, Eliza Dolittle shares her speculation about how she thinks they'd 'done in' her relative, as they wanted her fancy hat. Such meager goods, but when folks are poor it can feel a bit desperate that way...
So, this is a reminder to myself to strive for that balance, to realize that all this abundance is a GOOD thing--to be grateful. Like I've said before, it's a shame we can't meter out things more. It's like a newborn baby--how exhausting the wonderful baby is. Wouldn't it be nice to 'store' a few of those days to enjoy periodically? Nope, you get them all at once, then they're gone. Life might not always be this abundant, this full. I need to appreciate it!
Oh, Grammy just designated the day between Michael's birthday and Valentine's Day as Mom Have a Great Day Day. Cute! I suppose we can happily deal with that, as we try to catch her in there around Michael's birthday and Valentine's Day anyhow!
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