Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Introverted in an Extraverted Society

Caveat: I want to make clear that I am not equating introversion with intelligence--it's just a different way of existing. Many extraverts are incredibly intelligent, of course! And there's a whole intelligence in itself of having the ability to quickly process and absorb multiple stimuli at once. It can be quite phenomenal, actually! That said...
I've been thinking a lot lately about the Introvert vs Extravert situation, especially after reading a fabulous article in Psychology Today that struck a chord.
Why the article struck a chord has become more apparent to me in the time since I read it several days ago. The author discusses the societal pressure for us to become extraverts, and I've realized how even traditionally 'introverted' activities are now evolving into more extraverted ones (like writing--they tell us there are oodles of great authors out there, so we have to market and sell ourselves!), and I have just read yet another article that twists the whole situation to make us introverts feel yet worse about ourselves.
WebMD reports frequently on surveys to figure out who the 'happiest' folks are. They report cheerily that Extraverts, believe it or not, are the happiest people. So, they conclude, we should all strive to be more extraverted. To me, this is fairly equivalent to telling me that optimists are more cheerful. Duh! It's a bit more cloaked, though, so it sneaks past our normally healthy realism (i.e. "pessimism") and gets to our self-esteem. What evil optimists abound! Or are they near-sighted, self-loathing pessimists?
What I appreciate about Professor Laurie Helgoe's article is that she points out that we have an innate state, which is of course not all-or-nothing. When heavily-leaning introverts strive to be extraverted, it comes at great cost. While extraverts may be naturally happier and more suited to extraverted activities, the introverts are even more anxious or depressed when they try to force these situations upon themselves. What works best for them is to identify their natural state and embrace it.
I'm so glad I happened across that article, as I hadn't really processed how much pressure that our society, an extravert-loving society, puts on realists and introverts. When introverts embrace their natural state (which is not necessarily shyness), they can then achieve greater happiness naturally, without so many societal head games.
Sidenote: I've often thought to myself that Facebook is like a party for introverts! We can take our time to process and remain in our own little bubbles! But it doesn't exclude the extraverts, of course!
Sidenote #2: Helgoe doesn't bring it up, but I'm wondering about alcohol converting introverts to extraverts. I've known many to say they can't really relax and have fun until they've had a bit of alcohol, and I know my introverted tendencies quickly fall away with my rare consumption of alcohol. I'm wondering about it subduing our receptors, so that we're not so 'over'-stimulated and 'over'-thinking. Helgoe describes some of the elaborate thought processes an introvert generates in a simple conversation. Alcohol subdues so much thought, which frees us to 'party' a bit more and 'worry' less--and, quite frankly, 'dumbs us down' (true for everyone with alcohol, I think!). Hmm, wonder if the rate of alcoholism is greater among introverts? It'd be attractive, especially with the naturally 'happier' extraverted state!

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