Be Proud, Be Inspired

I'm a lucky person in so many ways, and I am so grateful for the innumerable blessings in my life. No, I'm not discrediting all the striving that goes into it...but I know that sheer fortune can change everything.

The common argument goes something like, "Well, while you are gifted at math, he is good at art," implying that it's all balanced in the end. However, I think it's really pretty obvious that some folks are born with fewer bits of 'luck' while others seem deluged with it. Even considering all the psychological factors that can contribute to this phenomenon, we can still clearly see that some folks 'have all the luck'.

That is the extreme case scenario, though. I suspect that noone reading this is in the extremely 'unlucky' category--you weren't born with horrible deformities, your brains function fairly well, etc., etc. As to the 'lucky' folks, well, everyone has their issues and problems.

When I was in fifth grade, I read Anne Frank: Diary of a Young Girl (Caveat: I don't believe I've looked at the book since then, so these are distant memories). When she wrote the diary, she was a very bright girl, just a little older than I was at the time. I believe that the first few entries or perhaps an introduction by someone else described the time before she went into hiding, and they mentioned her rather privileged life. I pieced together that she was quite well off and felt a little envious, but of course she still had problems even then that were very real to her (not to say that the later problems didn't totally displace any thought of the early ones, but I think that is how we function!). I had a bit of trouble feeling empathetic to her early problems, as I could only hear that she was playing tennis and going to fancy events in pretty dresses, etc., etc. Part of me did not even like the girl at first, out of my reactionary feeling that "it's not fair...". Later, however, Anne had to live in abominable conditions, and her beautiful spirit shone through. I was incredibly sympathetic, and I loved the girl. It was heartbreaking to read her story, with the tragic end, and I know that it prompted a realization in me of how wrong it had been of me to feel envious of her at first, for I wished, wished, wished that she could have that nice life back.

I rather wish everyone would take a moment to think of the luckiest people you know, and, instead of envying their great fortune and jumping to the conclusion, "I'd be so happy if only I had what they have...", try to put yourself in their shoes for just a moment and imagine the stressors in their lives--for they do exist.

Let's see...President Obama must be an incredibly stressed person, but many would term him extremely lucky, and a vast number probably do have great envy of his position. Meanwhile, he has his own worries about being present with his family enough, upcoming disputes with other foreign leaders, putting on a good face to the public... And who knows what unmet desires he still has? I suspect that averting the barbs of envious relatives and friends is one of the larger stressors on his plate, too. His life must be very challenging, and, even if he has one of the healthiest dispositions for dealing with stress, it must be sometimes difficult.

Of course, for the folks who were defeated by him in the elections and dreamed of becoming President, he's a 'lucky' guy, and they may have trouble feeling empathy for his troubles. I'm not saying their troubles aren't greater...perhaps they lost the election, have a sick child, are going bankrupt, etc., etc. But comparison of whose troubles are greater doesn't do anything for our mental health...unless we're trying to gain perspective on how small our own problems are by comparing them with the most 'unlucky' folks we know.

So, given that there are always folks who are unluckier than us (and, if you're able to read this, it's true!), should we try to 'shield' them by hiding our own achievements and great fortunes? Of course not! What can we do, then, to avert the envy and jealousy? I wish I could answer that.

The fact is that nearly all of us can think of folks we deem as 'lucky' or more fortunate in one respect or another. The beautiful thing is that it can work both ways, and much has to do with perspective. If we form friendships with the 'lucky' folks, we'll find that while there are some areas where those folks do excel and have much to be proud of, there are aspects of their lives that are quite difficult for them. Should we ask them to suppress their light until, like Anne Frank, their difficulties (including newer ones) overcome them? For we all die in the end...

I urge you to find inspiration in those who you might envy. Find empathy for troubles that may seem negligible in comparison to your own--or you might realize the troubles are simply different than your own, if you take a moment to think, and not negligible at all.

I've always wondered at that saying, "God won't give you more than you can handle." I always thought, "Well, I guess I can't handle a whole lot..." because I've always had issues with anxiety. It's all perspective, though. I've also heard that the British (many of my ancestors!) are at their best when they face true adversity...so maybe we can handle more than we know, but I don't really want to find out!

I suppose we can't change others' perspectives. We should show a certain amount of sensitivity, but we'll cripple ourselves if we're afraid to express our joys. Expressing our happiness is what makes us happy, in the end. Not to say that it's not therapeutic to vent, as I certainly believe in that, but we do need a balance, and we can just go mad if we don't revel in our joys when they arise.

So, be proud of your accomplishments and good fortunes. Try not to be affected by the envy or bitterness of others. Martha Stewart and Brittney Spears (yes, her!) both have my admiration for how they pulled through the muck of all the hatred borne of envy... I'm not saying that they're perfect, but I admire their ability to pull themselves together and not fall completely apart (though I suppose you could argue that Brittney did, for awhile--and completely understandably!).

Life is difficult. Focus on the good, and find inspiration and even vicarious pleasure through the joys and successes of your friends. And, most of all, shine your own light, too!