Adoption records are sealed. Good thing I called first, before heading up this morning. We'll probably end up hiring an attorney, so who knows how long it'll be before I know for sure? How frustrating!
I'm trying not to take it too personally that Granny lied outright to me. She also denied the adoption rumors her whole life, so it had nothing to do with me personally. This may also explain why she 'withdrew' permanently from me, as I was on a constant genealogy mission whilst visiting them after the age of 12.
I talk about respect for the dead, and there is a very tiny voice in my head that questions whether I should respect her wishes about keeping the adoption private. However, we should look at why she wished this, versus why I want to know. I can only believe that the reason for the privacy was because her adoptive parents wished it and that they felt concerned about shame and scandal.
In this day and age, though, who looks down on her due to the adoption? It simply makes her a more interesting figure. Also, her birth parents are my own genetic line, so I feel I have a right to know who they were. She no more has a right to keep my ancestors from me than anybody else does, especially now that it cannot possibly negatively impact her life. In fact, I intend to memorialize her in my book. Folks will be rooting for her, and, in a sense, she'll go down in history rather than be forgotten.
I have great belief in our psychic powers, you know. This ability is developed to different degrees in different people. My dad, for instance, is extremely intuitive, perhaps more so than I am, but he would scorn the notion.
I am thinking, honestly, that my granny was able to block my intuitive sense of her birth truth until she was in the process of passing away, and that blockade crumbled. Perhaps my dad helped her, too, even though he didn't know he was. He honored his mother greatly and would have wanted to support her wishes.
Speaking of Dad, Michael and I have started speaking of 'the old Dad' and 'the new Dad'. I am absolutely amazed at the turn-around my father has shown in recent years. I like him--a lot! His mind has opened up to all sorts of new ideas, and he is a cub scout troop leader now! He initially registered his grandson for the troop, despite the fact that all other troop members and the leader were black, which he was fully aware of beforehand.
Also, Dad called me yesterday to excitedly discuss a fictional novel that he just read, and he plans to see the movie. Not an action story, either. I am flabbergasted. I can't remember him once reading a novel when I was young. I try not to show my surprise too much, though!
Anyhow, he may see if he can elicit any info from grandaddy, but I know he wants to be sensitive to his elderly and bereaved father's feelings.
Oh, Dad knows about my book, too, so it's not like I'm plotting behind his back, and he does know how much it means to me. Seems like he'd be a little interested in finding out who his maternal grandfather is, too (see, I'm still assuming Gaynelle is the mother).
It would be helpful if Dad can get the info, but I feel pretty sure I'll have a right to it legally, as a descendant of the deceased.
Okay, looks like my belief in Gaynelle as my ancestress is still there, so I should wrap this up and get back to work (not a word since the 400 yesterday morning). I'd love to get hold of her lover's name and find a bit more about him and his background before book 2, though.
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