"All that we are is a result of what we have thought" --Buddha
This blog is a mish-mash of my thoughts and opinions as well as a recounting of some family events from my perspective. I have been 'blessed' with a mind that is incredibly introspective--I process and rehash things over and over, but I'll miss the most obvious events occurring three feet away. Of course my take on things is incredibly subjective, but I will say that I think that my intent is generally to derive the best conclusions with the most care. I have occasionally changed my opinions, however, even on solid convictions, but not often, though!
My views are colored by my experiences, which largely include the books that I read and movies that I watch. These often introduce new twists on ideas, promote lofty ideals, and pronounce the intricate subtleties in relationships. When inspired, I then transpose those to my own life and see where and how they apply.
I can easily feel overwhelmed with expectations of perfection from myself and others, and I am aware that those expectations can overwhelm my friends and family as well. When others are suddenly introduced to an idea that I have been cultivating for years, I can instantly expect them to understand and embrace it the way I do. Even if they agree with the basic idea, that can be a tall order.
My intent here is to:
1. Apologize for my despotic personality! I understand that I can come across as controlling, judgmental, and self-righteous at times... I will admit that these tendencies are real and do actually exist, though I am quite as merciless with myself!
2. I'd like to validate the importance of acceptance and contentment. Loving ourselves, our friends, and our families for the way we are is a beautiful thing. Embracing a person, an individual replete with flaws, and momentarily letting go of efforts to improve or adjust those flaws is what real love is, isn't it? At least for a time! We should all spend more time loving and some of us should spend less time analyzing, nit-picking, scrutinizing...
That said, I know for certain of us, it's how we love...those we love most are to whom we show our caring. We wouldn't bother with folks we didn't care about, but we want our loved ones to do their best, look their best, BE their best. Of course we see how wonderful they are, but there's always room to tweak them and ourselves. Think of it as tucking in your collar tags and picking lint off your shirt...:)
3. Reassert my basic tenant that we are still responsible for our conduct. Sure, we can wear blinders and say, "Everything is just fine!" That's what slaveholders did, that's what the SS soldiers did as they followed orders in ushering Jews and their protectors into concentration camps...that's what we do when we buy animal products in the store that are from factory farms. It's what most people do. These are GOOD people, for the most part. They are loveable, sweet, kind folks. Sweet grannies and innocent, religious folks, hard-working men, children and mothers...
4. Therefore, we have to find a balance between accepting ourselves and others, and striving to improve society and look out for the well-being of others--especially those more helpless than ourselves. We have to balance self-gratification with conscientious awareness.
The environment is one area of awareness that is important. For the fact is that we are not living in symbiosis with nature. Factory farms, pollution, chemicals, clear-cutting, etc are part our existence, and we are responsible, whether we wear blinders or not.
The other primary area of awareness has to do with our interpersonal interactions. Inconsiderate actions and rudeness can feel perfectly okay to the person doling it out. Offensive behavior will sometimes occur, and we all have to put up with a bit of it. Trouble is, if we don't strive to be aware of how we're affecting others, then we can't do so...hence the importance of knowing and following basic etiquette. Following the Golden Rule is not enough...one person may be great with funny, lewd jokes and behavior and not mind them in the slightest. Wearing blinders and justifying ourselves as 'okay' allows us to fling aside our responsibilities to follow basic manners.
These are simply my thoughts. Why would we bother with etiquette or considering the welfare of factory farm animals unless we first thought about it? If my thoughts upset you, then consider that perhaps they've triggered a reaction for a reason. I have personal experience with this...
Here's the story: My dad's best friend was a vegetarian. When I was six, Jimmy came over and ate soup with us. I thought he was rude for picking out the meat in the soup. When I confronted him about it, he simply explained that he did not want to eat meat and support the needless death of animals, or something like that. Boy, did I react. I was furious with him and was sent to my room by my parents and threatened with a spanking.
In my mind, he had come to our house and insulted us! The insult was implied...we were unethical and cruel for eating meat...something so normal, something that had never bothered me before.
I was triggered. The reason? Because I'd been confronted with an idea that seemed to make sense, but placed an 'unreasonable' demand on me to change my behavior, which I'd thought was perfectly fine. I was six then, and it wasn't until I'd processed many books and films, witnessed the dead bodies of farm animals (actually some of the most ethical meat I'd ever been exposed to, honestly), and struggled with the idea for years that I became a vegetarian at age 14.
I became angry, resisted, processed, and thought about it for years and years before I implemented the idea. So, I suppose my point is that if you feel triggered by something that I say, perhaps it's something you need to look at more closely. Most people simply put those blinders more firmly in place, because it's convenient.
A word about those blinders: I admire them. I do. What a relief to just live happily and simply, not worrying about everything. However, I see folks unquestioningly fall prey to our society, again and again. Some of the folks with blinders are really valiant, and they face their adversities again without worrying, without questioning. And they often get through them with amazing strength of will.
I knew a woman who had practically every disease you can name...osteoporosis, cancer, heart disease, lung disease, etc. She smoked and drank and ate terribly her entire life, and her body had no right to be continuing on, but she was a pistol! She was dedicated to fun! I immensely enjoyed seeing her as a patient, and she was one of the most vibrant, fiery people I've ever met. I adored her vitality. She suffered from her choices, but she was a happy woman. I admire that, but I know that it can't be my choice, and I can't in good conscience say it would be alright for me to do that. She had children who were likely exposed to the smoke, and later they had to care for her. Of course, you can argue that her vitality and the element of 'fun' balanced it out. Perhaps...but perhaps she would have still been fun with a few wiser choices.
So, BALANCE is the key. We can be more than we have to be. But, we should seek happiness, love, acceptance of ourselves and others as well. Love yourself, love others acceptingly. Seek to show a broader, greater love by striving for the truth and by considering the ramifications of your daily actions.
Oh goodness! I've started preaching! Yikes! You know, my grandaddy is retired minister...and genetically, we were so alike on the DNA analysis that he could pass as my father! I matched him on every marker!
And, perhaps I'm balancing a bit here, because my hopefully thrilling, romantic, creepy novel is by no means a preaching tirade! Ethics here, other stuff in my novels under a pen name! :)
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