Gorgeous Dancer!
Fiona is our performer. She is SO thrilled to get on stage, and she has the biggest smile and the most sassy wave and all... what a showgirl! She said, before the show, "Life wouldn't be worth living if I never got to be on stage..."
Anyhow, she did a fine job on her recital, and she was cute as could be. She danced a ballet number and a tap dance with her small Ellis group. I've been told many times now by a number of folks that she is extremely graceful, and I secretly agree that she takes grace to the level of an art, too... Mommy's privilege, right?
Now for the griping... The audience drove me crazy. It was unbelievable. At least every song, somebody was trying to get in and out of the aisle or stood in front of us. I had my toe painfully stepped on, and Michael said he was hit in the face with a butt at least 3 times. He likes crowds even less than I do.
I hate to be so crabby...but there are certain otherwise lovely people who seem absolutely clueless. At first it's humorous to see how thoughtless they are, but when they are disrupting your own daughter's performance, well, then it becomes less funny.
This woman and her daughter who sat next to us were major offenders. They were so enthusiastic and smiling--they were clearly there for a lovely, fun time. In and out, in and out of the aisle, though. I became so upset that I repeatedly lost the remainder of several dances while I fumed about being disrupted yet again, and I watched them instead of the dancers with apprehension as they headed back towards the aisle after snapping a photo or something. GRRR!
Not only that, but I felt responsible for continually having to stand up in front of the people seated behind me, knowing that at some point I was probably blocking the view of their own children.
Truly, though, I'm guessing that this mother/daughter duo are probably fun to hang around with. They remind me of a certain friend who almost never buses her own table in a fast-food restaurant, cluelessly lets buggies roll away in parking lots, unknowingly nearly runs down pedestrians...well, I'd better not go on too much, because I do love my friend quite well, but I'm constantly dismayed at how thoughtless she can be. I don't believe she has any idea about these things, either.
In fact, I know I walk around in my own little bubble, but Michael assures me that I don't tend to do this sort of thing. I hope not, though occasionally I think I might.
I suppose this seems interesting to me because of the discrepancy Michael and I have always had about fault. Michael looks at effect...if someone hits him in the face with her butt, she's guilty whether or not she intended to do it. I've always lobbied on the side of intent...if it was an accident, then give her a break. However, this experience makes me question my staunch view there.
The guilty duo on our aisle were happy and sweet and enthusiastic--completely clueless about their rude behavior. While I realize this, I was still furious with them (by the end). I suppose Michael has a valid position... it has to do with taking responsibility for our own behavior. It's not enough to just say, 'not my fault, I didn't know...I didn't intend to cause any harm'.
We are responsible for not only following, but for knowing rules and etiquette, and, simply, being as considerate and polite and aware as possible. Focusing solely on self-gratification without taking responsibility hurts those around us, even if we don't mean for it to.
This discussion leads me to think about the critical role of parents in teaching their children about rules and etiquette. My own parents have their own system of belief about behavior, and, thankfully, I am convinced that they taught me well not to do that sort of thing during a performance. They also drilled us to respect teachers and elders and such. I am grateful that I've learned these things, as they come naturally.
What my parents didn't model or teach, though, were effective interpersonal family communications, with validation and basic politeness. Truly, polite behavior was seen as rather pretentious with familiar family and friends, so it's taken me forever to understand that it's still ideal for family settings, too.
And table etiquette? Oh my...I continually disgrace myself. My natural tendencies are fairly barbaric, and, now that I am learning proper table behavior, I am a bit mortified at my natural behavior, which I still incline towards. If you're not used to behaving nicely, it can feel completely foreign and pretentious and troublesome to actually try to employ proper etiquette.
I am fortunate enough to have a few friends who have a good deal of class, and they are truly classy in the best sense...in that they don't seem to judge others, but they maintain their own table manners by habit. When my barbaric children and I have dined with them, on multiple occasions, I have been blown away by the contrast, and I am understanding that it's my own duty to ingrain proper behavior in my children now, before it becomes incredibly difficult to learn when they're adults (like me!).
I have tried, with some success. Fiona occasionally gets it into her head to correct everyone at dinner, and Alex even responds to her with some recognition of the validity of her remarks. I'll make a great effort for a while, but I continue to slip back into old habits, and those are what the children generally have, as well. At least the kids are being introduced to the concepts, and they are fully aware that I don't always model the behavior I'd like to see from them.
So, again, I seem to be heading towards the more conservative stance. We impose on others when we don't take responsibility for ourselves and our own behavior. That said, I still think it's imperative to keep in mind that we all come from slightly different cultures, and I still believe intent is important. It's just not valid as a blanket excuse/'get out of jail free' card for repeat offenses. Oh, and we all have our weaknesses and faults, which we can't eliminate. We can only try to be as good as we can be, and we are responsible for at least that much.
Anyhow, she did a fine job on her recital, and she was cute as could be. She danced a ballet number and a tap dance with her small Ellis group. I've been told many times now by a number of folks that she is extremely graceful, and I secretly agree that she takes grace to the level of an art, too... Mommy's privilege, right?
Now for the griping... The audience drove me crazy. It was unbelievable. At least every song, somebody was trying to get in and out of the aisle or stood in front of us. I had my toe painfully stepped on, and Michael said he was hit in the face with a butt at least 3 times. He likes crowds even less than I do.
I hate to be so crabby...but there are certain otherwise lovely people who seem absolutely clueless. At first it's humorous to see how thoughtless they are, but when they are disrupting your own daughter's performance, well, then it becomes less funny.
This woman and her daughter who sat next to us were major offenders. They were so enthusiastic and smiling--they were clearly there for a lovely, fun time. In and out, in and out of the aisle, though. I became so upset that I repeatedly lost the remainder of several dances while I fumed about being disrupted yet again, and I watched them instead of the dancers with apprehension as they headed back towards the aisle after snapping a photo or something. GRRR!
Not only that, but I felt responsible for continually having to stand up in front of the people seated behind me, knowing that at some point I was probably blocking the view of their own children.
Truly, though, I'm guessing that this mother/daughter duo are probably fun to hang around with. They remind me of a certain friend who almost never buses her own table in a fast-food restaurant, cluelessly lets buggies roll away in parking lots, unknowingly nearly runs down pedestrians...well, I'd better not go on too much, because I do love my friend quite well, but I'm constantly dismayed at how thoughtless she can be. I don't believe she has any idea about these things, either.
In fact, I know I walk around in my own little bubble, but Michael assures me that I don't tend to do this sort of thing. I hope not, though occasionally I think I might.
I suppose this seems interesting to me because of the discrepancy Michael and I have always had about fault. Michael looks at effect...if someone hits him in the face with her butt, she's guilty whether or not she intended to do it. I've always lobbied on the side of intent...if it was an accident, then give her a break. However, this experience makes me question my staunch view there.
The guilty duo on our aisle were happy and sweet and enthusiastic--completely clueless about their rude behavior. While I realize this, I was still furious with them (by the end). I suppose Michael has a valid position... it has to do with taking responsibility for our own behavior. It's not enough to just say, 'not my fault, I didn't know...I didn't intend to cause any harm'.
We are responsible for not only following, but for knowing rules and etiquette, and, simply, being as considerate and polite and aware as possible. Focusing solely on self-gratification without taking responsibility hurts those around us, even if we don't mean for it to.
This discussion leads me to think about the critical role of parents in teaching their children about rules and etiquette. My own parents have their own system of belief about behavior, and, thankfully, I am convinced that they taught me well not to do that sort of thing during a performance. They also drilled us to respect teachers and elders and such. I am grateful that I've learned these things, as they come naturally.
What my parents didn't model or teach, though, were effective interpersonal family communications, with validation and basic politeness. Truly, polite behavior was seen as rather pretentious with familiar family and friends, so it's taken me forever to understand that it's still ideal for family settings, too.
And table etiquette? Oh my...I continually disgrace myself. My natural tendencies are fairly barbaric, and, now that I am learning proper table behavior, I am a bit mortified at my natural behavior, which I still incline towards. If you're not used to behaving nicely, it can feel completely foreign and pretentious and troublesome to actually try to employ proper etiquette.
I am fortunate enough to have a few friends who have a good deal of class, and they are truly classy in the best sense...in that they don't seem to judge others, but they maintain their own table manners by habit. When my barbaric children and I have dined with them, on multiple occasions, I have been blown away by the contrast, and I am understanding that it's my own duty to ingrain proper behavior in my children now, before it becomes incredibly difficult to learn when they're adults (like me!).
I have tried, with some success. Fiona occasionally gets it into her head to correct everyone at dinner, and Alex even responds to her with some recognition of the validity of her remarks. I'll make a great effort for a while, but I continue to slip back into old habits, and those are what the children generally have, as well. At least the kids are being introduced to the concepts, and they are fully aware that I don't always model the behavior I'd like to see from them.
So, again, I seem to be heading towards the more conservative stance. We impose on others when we don't take responsibility for ourselves and our own behavior. That said, I still think it's imperative to keep in mind that we all come from slightly different cultures, and I still believe intent is important. It's just not valid as a blanket excuse/'get out of jail free' card for repeat offenses. Oh, and we all have our weaknesses and faults, which we can't eliminate. We can only try to be as good as we can be, and we are responsible for at least that much.
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