Unplanned Causes

It's funny how, when we're chatting about daily stuff, we can leave out oh-so-much more important things. Sometimes, as with the blog, we don't want to focus on them, but then it seems a bit incomplete. So, in the interest of feeling more complete and giving you the scoop on a couple of big issues to me, I thought I'd write an entry on my unplanned 'Causes' at the kids' school.

I used to be a really supportive parent. I'd sometimes volunteer at school, and I'd bring classroom presents and Christmas presents for teachers and such. I was nice, which is how I'd prefer to be perceived! Don't get me wrong--I'm still grateful for all the fantastic opportunities my kids get and I still sometimes answer the classroom 'wish list' with bundles, it's just that I haven't been as helpful in that way or focused on the positive ever since...ahem, well, the PTA invited me to be VP. Why the ahem? Well, because it ended terribly, when I resigned in great frustration.

Okay, here's the dirt... In addition to being PTA VP, I had volunteered for the role of chair of the Health & Wellness Committee at Charles Ellis Montessori. In this position of responsibility, I began to address an issue of great concern to me...that the children did not have soap, warm water, or toilet paper in the restrooms. This concern seems completely obvious and unacceptable to me, and I expected a simple fix. When I was informed by the principal that funding was an issue, I addressed the PTA with requests for funding for setting up these basic needs--toilet paper dispensers, instant water heaters, hand air dryers and such. The PTA, under the influence of the reigning president at the time, unanimously voted against this funding and suggested I host an INDEPENDENT fund-raiser! Meanwhile, they happily shelled out many thousands of dollars for arbitrary little entertainment events and festivals for the kids! I was even questioned about the real need for these things...would it really make a difference? Some parents who agreed with me in private conversation joined in with the vote against assisting funding and followed up by encouraging me to 'do something about it'. Hence, I resigned.

The PTA, I have decided, is full of bright, cheery, optimistic cheerleaders who make the school a more fun place. I do sometimes wish I had more of that Pollyanna attitude. Fun-loving, uncritical, etc... I felt completely burned and amazed that they prioritized basic needs so little. How can we flippantly spend thousands on an 'opera' when we don't have soap and warm water? I did communicate this to the PTA in my resignation letter, which did upset many well-meaning but short-sighted PTA mothers.

Anyhow, I did persist, and after many calls and annoying and plaguing numerous folks, Ellis finally put toilet paper and soap in the restrooms. There's often just one soap dispenser, sometimes too high for the little ones to reach, and the toilet paper is generally not mounted on a secure dispenser, and there's NO hot water, but it's a lot better than before. In the past, children had to carry a basket from the classroom with supplies in it, and you can logically see how a child could not possibly wash her hands between the bathroom stall and the sink, before putting her hands back on the basket handles. Not only GI illnesses, but blood-borne pathogens (from the older girls) become a greater risk with this practice. Anyhow, it took me about a year to get the tp in the restrooms, and I had numerous anxiety bouts in the process. I am simply NOT cut out to be an activist, but nobody else seemed to care and it seemed so critical!
Whew...that was an AWFUL experience, but I am glad I persisted, though I alienated many folks in the process. I do sort of regret that had to be the case, but I theoretically am glad to sacrifice my own popularity for the improved health and well-being of hundreds of kids.

It's funny how quickly you do forget, though. I was acutely aware for a time of the unfriendliness of several PTA mothers, but I recall a day when I came home from visiting the school and mentioned with confusion to Michael about the 'chilliness' that one mother had towards me. I had COMPLETELY forgotten about the whole restroom debaucle in the moment! Which means that most mothers had let go of it and I was thus not continually reminded of it, though the restroom improvements remained! Yay! In fact, that whole thing was last school year, and THIS school year saw the free-of-me PTA supplying hand sanitizer and hand sanitizer dispensers at various points throughout the school in response to the H1N1 panic, and I like to think that I did raise a few of their consciences and awarenesses about the hygiene issue, which helped to prompt this action.

Okay, so that was last year's cause... This year saw me take on a completely different one! The school district switched school bus service for the current school year, and my children were arriving home ridiculously late. I did not take any action, except to complain to the office, until one day in September, after Fiona's violin class--a full hour after school had let out--the children commented that they bet their bus line was still waiting to be picked up. I was dismayed and went to see, and I was appalled to see three bus lines STILL waiting for their buses! These poor kids were sitting on the cold, hard cafeteria floor in lines on a DAILY basis for over an hour! In fact, the after-school childcare program was in the same room, so THOSE children got snacks and crafts and such RIGHT in front of them, while the bus children were being held in a pseudo-detention DAILY!

After receiving no response from the bus service, the board members, and such, I contacted WSAV, the local news channel, and, thankfully, I did receive a response. I was interviewed, and finally some response was initiated. Unfortunately, the situation hasn't greatly improved, and I have continued to bother and provoke folks. I'm sure I'm not alone in it, but there was this week a sudden board meeting about the transportation issue privy to the media, which I believe my letters and Randi from WSAV may have prompted. It sounds as though they will be choosing a different bus company for 2010-11 school year, and my children are suddenly arriving home a half-hour earlier--so much better, but still about an hour and a half after school is dismissed. Anyhow, that's my 'Cause' for this year.

I hate to be so critical and take things on like that. It's just so awful to see these poor children be trodden on. They're generally so passive and accepting, and the teachers have their hands tied, since their jobs are on the line. What does get me is that the quick answer I seem to get about things is special treatment for MY kids. Special restroom privileges (oh, I haven't even MENTIONED the restroom restrictions I contested in the PRIOR year, before even bringing up the hygiene issue!) and I'm certain that it's quite likely a different bus route is having to wait that extra half-hour in deference to my fussing, which was NOT my intent. I suppose it's easier for disinterested administrators to grant exceptions than to change whole policies, though...the squeaky wheel does get the grease!

Michael is supportive, thank goodness. I pat my own back for addressing these things, but, generally, being an activist is a THANKLESS task. How many kids are saying 'thank you' or feeling grateful for my efforts? How many angry vibes towards me am I generating? And yes, I am ultra-sensitive and can't stand angry vibes...

I can count 4 (one in grad school) specific Causes that I have independently taken on, and I have caused myself extreme anxiety over them all, though, honestly, I'd have to say that the anxiety is less now, though I may have Randi with WSAV to thank for that. Finally, an ally in defending the 'oppressed' :)! I'm sort of surprised that it's about such obvious things, and I suppose I'm motivated because my kids are affected directly. I do care very much about the environment and animal welfare, but those things are removed from my daily reality. If there were a meat-processing plant within the school, perhaps I would be motivated to worry more about the most basic animal welfare issues and such...

Speaking of that, I do believe that's why such horrors continue. Those plants are out of sight, out of mind. Same, really, for environmental problems. That's why they continue, and I'm apparently nearly as guilty about my inactivism as anyone else, as I clearly respond to what's in my face as opposed to seeking out those issues. We can only take on so much, though, and, frankly, I do prefer pleasant life to all that anxiety!

We should all do what we can, though, and some of you have more spunk and less sensitivity and can probably be more effective about more issues than I am! That said, it's encouraging to see some responses in the right direction, and I believe I'm inspired to keep trying. That, so far, seems to be the key. Of my 4 Causes, only the first one failed dismally, and I truly believe it's because I gave up rather quickly. In fact, the president of my school told me directly that he couldn't justify changing the policies of other administrators unless, basically, I held a protest. I couldn't deal with it and just gave up, but perhaps I would follow through these days. Live and learn to PERSIST. Ugh and ugh and ugh, but it's the only way to be effective, apparently. "Just keep trying" seems to be the key to achieving nearly anything, and, if it's worth it, there's no point in putting in half the effort. Commit and Try and Continue with everything of importance to us, so long as we still think the end goal is worth the future effort (as what's done is done).