So, it's already February, and I'm still as scattered as can be. I wanted to write on here just to discuss some of my latest notions and where I am with writing.
Writing progress is dismal at best, honestly. I did start a new story last fall, once again (what is that now--four???), but the holidays disrupted my writing. I'd planned to recommence in January, but it still hasn't happened.
And, really, I suppose I'll admit I've lost a bit of enthusiasm and drive. I ask myself, "What's the purpose of this story?" And the idea of writing for no particular purpose, of marketing to readers, of contributing to deforestation...sigh, I'm a bit down and out right now, to be honest. I mean, I do love a good story, but I've been getting letters back from publishers saying things like, "We receive 20,000 submissions annually and only publish one book a month." How many wonderful stories are out there, unpublished???
And while part of me wants to write for the purpose of creation and art, there are the other parts of me as well...the mother part that wants to spend time on family, on homemaking, on cooking. There's the 'reader' and 'student' in me that is passionately interested in learning new things continually. There's the ethicist that wants to garden and parent and communicate effectively... There's all sorts of different dimensions to me, even aside from the batty, spacey, spinning-in-circles me that gets absolutely nothing done as I fret about getting nothing done.
I've taken up knitting and have made a few really neat scarves and a hat. Not sure if I'll tackle a sweater eventually, but I do love the look of beautifully-knit cardigans and cable sweaters. It's just easier to adjust a scarf or a hat than it is a sweater. And besides, the amount of work is insane! I'm not sure if I'll really go much further with it, but I may continue on the simple scarf venue--maybe some washcloths and such... I like to knit simple things while watching TV or riding in the car, but I've found that complicated work (like an amazing Celtic-pattern neck warmer I've just completed), takes far too much focus and can eat up entire days. And when my house is a mess, I've got a zillion things that need tending to, my poor unfinished books are dangling...well, it was an interesting adventure, but I may be moving on for the most part. I may put in a little effort here and there for a slightly different pattern or some such...but I think I'm through with the multi-hour 'figuring it out' for now. Maybe I'll get back to it when I'm older. But I will say it was interesting, and I'm far more aware of patterns in clothing these days. I have a whole new appreciation for the sweaters I already own... You know, I say all this like it was a mistake or disappointment, but it wasn't. It was precisely what I meant it to be. Fiona and I learned together as a mother/daughter thing. I said from the get-go that I wanted it to be a 'learning curve' so that I could knit more absentmindedly later. That's exactly what happened. Strange, that feeling of deflation about it, hmm? Perhaps it is because I traded that in for working on my books. Not purposely, but it's what happened.
And, I suppose, the same is true for the other things that I've been doing. I just completed a rather 'random' 5-day nutritional on-line conference. And, again, I'm so glad to have done it. I was inspired very much--in particular by the ideas on fermentation. In short, up until a couple of generations ago, our ancestors all ate fermented foods. It was part of our diet. Refrigeration changed all that. Now, I'd considered gut dysbiosis before, but this took the concept to a whole new level. With the pesticides in our environment and foods killing off our natural, healthy gut flora, we need those fermented products more than ever. So...here's another success, I suppose...for the past week, I've been making my own soy yogurt (from store-bought soymilk, of course). I'd bought it occasionally, but that stuff is expensive, and I'm always averse to fast-food packaging that causes massive waste. This is very economical (maybe a quart for $1.50 or so?), without all the plastic, and my kids love it, too. I hope to try to make my own sauerkraut soon, too (not sure how 'habitual' that will become!)
So...they say that once things are a habit, they no longer take so much energy. I plan to make the soy yogurt regularly at night, and keep a big bunch of homemade gluten-free granola as a topping in the fridge. If I make a big batch to keep handy, this should make it easier to have healthy snacks handy.
The fermentation lecture caused me to revisit
French Women Don't Get Fat, by Mireille Guiliano. She recommends yogurt as a daily part of the diet, but I'd mostly ignored it before because I can't do dairy. However, I'm enthused now at incorporating yogurt into my daily regimen. A half-cup of yogurt seems so much more filling than a half-cup of soymilk, though it should be roughly the same calories.
Oh, and do you remember how much honey I've always used in my coffee? Well, I don't know why one little bit, but I've just discovered that if I steam and froth my soymilk FIRST, then I don't need additional sweetener in my coffee. That, actually, is in part thanks to hearing several times lately (last time from a Rick Steves' tour video in England) that tea is better with the milk added first. I don't take milk with my tea, but it prompted me to try the steaming and all--and voila! They're right, of course (if I can credit them with my extrapolation). My soymilk is pre-sweetened, of course, so there is that--but I wonder if the steaming process makes chemical alterations that sweeten it?
On top of fermenting and knitting and just daily trying-to-keep-up, we have been having more regular family meal times. That's something I can't get back in the future, and I think it's important, so there's that. Yes, this is absolutely a self-pep-talk. :)
I have to run to a conference at Fiona's school now, or I'd keep writing, but I wanted to check in and say hello. I miss writing my blog. I miss writing my books. Maybe I'll eventually get back to it...but how, oh how, are we supposed to get everything done? I still need to make that exercise thing more of a daily habit. I'm certainly on it maybe 3 times per week, but it's at a bare minimum. When you notice a big difference in your mood afterwards, then you know that you're absolutely not getting enough exercise! And how much easier could it be for me? We have our own workout center (i.e., elliptical and TV system) in the garage...sheesh...